Well it’s almost 2 years now and I finally gave in. I haven’t really gone through our closet since Tin passed away. Each time I’d go in the closet I would feel like there were skeletons about to grab me. I’d choke up seeing a jacket he wore, a scarf he wrapped, a shirt that was there for a special event we had together. Sometimes I…
Widowed Lonliness
Social Media Inspiration
After awhile, our friends and family don’t get the daily loss reminders we do. I get these strong urges to post on social media and remind them but those posts have evolved into a way to try and help anyone who needs it. This week, as I sit in my car, I just started writting….. It’s been almost 2 years since Clayton passed away. Sometimes it…
The Universe, Wherever I Am~
I spent last weekend, starting on Thursday, at a rally for people who own [email protected] trailers, as I do. My little rig has been my home on the road in the years since Chuck’s death. It’s tiny in every way, but still has a surprising amount of room inside of it, for me and for storage. I’m 5’1 and it gives me a little bit of clearance over my head. I can…
I Thought of You~
I thought of you last night. One night among all the thousands of nights that have passed since your hand last grasped mine, As we lay next to each other in the dark. I thought of your breath Your arms braced As you raised yourself above me, The passion in your eyes A mere reflection of mine. Our bodies sweaty and slick As we moved this way and…
The Ghosts of Christmas Past , Present and Future
Thanksgiving was a beast in itself but Christmas can be the kraken in unicorn’s clothing. I love parts of Christmas like the lights, smell of Christmas trees and giving others gifts. It’s the other parts – families gathering, couples under the mistletoe, Hallmark everything that always ends up like a fairytale…Tin was 1000% in with Christmas.
I Choose to Believe
A week ago I was given an opportunity at a big event to share with my essential oil community about inclusion, community and growth. It amazes me what has come into my life in the past year. Part of my oil journey is the loss of Tin. I share about him in every speech I give. I share about Soaring Spirits and I share about the widowed Facebook…
Thanks-Grieving
Last year I could barely walk through the grocery store during the holidays. Thanksgiving has always been my favorite and the thought of even buying ingredients was too much. This year, I told myself that it wasn’t right to stop celebrating. Tin wouldn’t want that at all. So I took a deep breath, swallowed what felt like a rock in my throat and…
Another Trip Around the Widowed Sun
This was my second birthday since Tin passed. Last year I was the big 4-0 and I wasn’t ever expecting to be a widow at that age. One year later and another candle on the cake doesn’t add nearly enough light to illuminate this shadowy part of the year.“Be gentle to yourself.” Is a phrase I hear often enough and I try to repeat it on the days…
What Now?…
This blog is a question for the Universe, I suppose. Because I don’t believe that there is a human alive, who has gone through this widowed life, who would have a ready answer for me. I’ve stood in the middle of nowhere and cast my eyes up into azure blue skies… I’ve stood outside on the darkest of dark nights with no light pollution around and…
Second Season of Spirits
Holidays are hard for me now since Tin and my father are gone. They passed away 10 months apart and it is very clear that so much has gone on that I can’t process some situations better than I thought I would. Round 2 of the holidays coming and I’m worse than last year. I guess it makes sense. That whole first year is a blur trying to manage…
Traveler’s Remorse
Two weeks traveling abroad in the Brazilian Amazon! How amazing! So exciting! I have never traveled out of the country besides Cancun, Mexico so this was a huge step outside my comfort zone. I haven’t had an actual vacation since Tin passed so this would be a break for me to soak up the experience and take the much earned downtime to recharge.I…
Wispy Love~
Whispers of you and I Echo in each pulse beat that brings life to my body. Reminders. Memories. Joy. Passion. So much Love. Each remembrance leads me into one room, then another. Each room crafted in the beauty of who we were, When you and I were a we. Shadowed corners that taunt me With your gone-ness. Your missing-ness. My emptiness. How is…