Tai Chi and Widowhood The year twenty twenty-five is the year of Tai Chi for me. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 10am, my friend and I step into a room with about twenty other seniors and follow the instructors as they lead us through a half-hour practice of Tai Chi. Classes are about 10 […]
widowed suddenly
Good Medicine for the Widowed:
The Intentional Community of Soaring Spirits One of the best medicines for widowed people is other widowed people. In Soaring Spirits we have access to Regional Social Groups! These groups exist across the country and Internationally in Bermuda, Dublin, and York/North Yorkshire. Every group looks, and functions, in their own unique way. We have park […]
Feeling all the Feels
How Grief Impacts Feelings At age 26, I received a helpful definition for feelings. You may be thinking that could be a bit late in life to receive information about something that impacts life on a daily basis and you would be right. Regardless of timing, I gratefully received this definition. “Feelings are spontaneous, inner […]
The Many Masks of Grief
. . . my story What am I feeling? Bad. I feel bad. Am I experiencing this feeling from a lack of sleep? Have I eaten? I’m feeling depressed. Is this feeling related to another step in my grief? Another reality check? (I check the calendar…is this an anniversary my body is remembering?) […]
Facing Fear
A Conversation I see you, fear. I see you once again and say ‘hey’ formidable crafty opposer. Mess-making friend who turns the neatly arranged inner furniture up-side-down and brings all manner of havoc to me— unbidden. You arrive at my door in many costumes; posing beneath a plethora of masks and feelings; […]
What is Grief . . .
. . . someone asked. a puzzle an enigma one long and unpredictable complication . . . a testament to love. grief the remnant from the flood proof that love existed love’s receipt. The poet, John O’Donohue says it best: For Grief When you lose someone you love, […]
So Far Away
Lately, Mike feels so far away. It is very hard to properly describe, but I will give it a try. He has taken on the feel of a memory. Now, Mike feels like more of a memory than my person. I feel lousy admitting this. It sort of feels like he is dying all over again. In my head, Mike feels like someone who lived once upon a time – in…
Illusions of Control
I wonder at times if we put more pressure on ourselves because of being widowed. I feel like I am always trying to keep everything running smoothly, as if since being widowed I just want life to operate as a well oiled machine with as few hiccups as possible. I guess that’s understandable… to want to avoid anything particularly surprising or…
Shattered Hearts Still Beat
Before I was Mike’s widow I did not know the depth and breadth of grief. I had no idea that grief lasts forever. I never considered secondary losses. I did not think about how the dead are missing from our futures. The day Mike died, I did not know that my grief would stay with me throughout my lifetime. I just didn’t know. …
Sudden Death Shadows
Well, I made it through the long three days of Mike being out of town for work the other week. He made sure to text or call at every turn so that I knew he was safe – which helped so much to keep the panic at bay a bit. So no, he didn’t die. Much to my relief. Although I will say, the whole ordeal of having to cope with my new person on a work trip…
I Didn’t Die
So, Sarah wrote last week about my leaving for a work trip. It was the first time I have done so since we’ve met. Sure, I’ve left for a day or two here and there to go backpacking, but being required by my job to board a jet to Chicago for three days is, quite obviously, a bit more of a trigger for her. Especially when it’s a trigger…
Leaving on a Jet Plane… Don’t Die
It seems like there is always something in grief you are experiencing for the first time. After seven years as a widow, I would have thought that I had already gone through almost every “first”. This week though, I discovered another first I had yet to go through, and it’s had my emotions all over the place. Tomorrow, my new partner Mike…