Through 179 blog posts. The image says life is the best story, to which I say, Yes. I believe that is true because death is a part of life. Dying inside happens repeatedly after realizing our person is never coming back. Living again is something we learn to do, small step by small […]
widowed sadness
I Was Slain
by Joe Black The movie Meet Joe Black was made in the 90’s when it’s star, Brad Pitt, was only 34 years old. I’d seen the film once, but clearly did not recognize the deeper meanings. This time I was overcome by its layers of goodness. Why would an old film affect me so strongly? […]
The Wonder of a Camp for Widowed People
Images of Past and Future Dear Widowed Peeps! Wednesday snuck up on me, so I am reposting a blog about attending my first Camp Widow, in correlation with a Camp Widow happening in this very moment, and throughout the weekend, in Toronto, Canada. The Camp Widow experience features the essence of the support offered to […]
Trusting Me
Which part of me do I trust? This is me in grief’s low spaces. Grief stricken. Broken. Vulnerable to pain. Feeling useless. What good is a broken bridge? Can I trust the broken parts of me? This is me in grief’s growing places. Evidence of my brokenness is visible. Yet I […]
How long has it been?
1,245 Days Borrowing a poem from Mary Oliver to remember you: Not Anyone Who Says Not anyone who says, “I’m going to be careful and smart in matters of love,” who says, “I’m going to choose slowly.” Nope. Mary Oliver’s opening words do not describe our particular story. We were young (so young!) and […]
Some Days Are Worse Than Others
Just ask Alexander! A boy named Alexander had a lot to say about this: I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning, I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while […]
Feeling all the Feels
How Grief Impacts Feelings At age 26, I received a helpful definition for feelings. You may be thinking that could be a bit late in life to receive information about something that impacts life on a daily basis and you would be right. Regardless of timing, I gratefully received this definition. “Feelings are spontaneous, inner […]
Following Father’s Day
Here you are on display so many years after the fact. Having been only four tiny pounds yourself, you grew larger than life. You had the strength to be immutable and the grace to be tender. Tough and Tender. A combination for life. Seeing this photo undoes me. Missing […]
A Personal Eclipse
On April 4th, I ordered my eclipse glasses in preparation for the 2024 Solar Eclipse. Although I knew that the best places to observe were Texas, Mexico, and Canada, I would be settling for my patio in Riverside, CA. I donned my funky glasses and looked toward the sun which showed up as a fat, […]
Comparing Grief Confessions
[today’s view in contrast to 166+ days out . . .] Hi Babe, It’s been 166 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds since you left. [it is now 1,126 days since he left . . .] The clock ticks on as I write, rendering the time estimate incorrect seconds after […]
The Many Masks of Grief
. . . my story What am I feeling? Bad. I feel bad. Am I experiencing this feeling from a lack of sleep? Have I eaten? I’m feeling depressed. Is this feeling related to another step in my grief? Another reality check? (I check the calendar…is this an anniversary my body is remembering?) […]
Traveling in the Land of Grief
Buried under too many things to mention, I reached out to Mary and asked her to use this blog from my earliest days of grief as a fill-in for Wednesday, April 10th. As I move toward the 3-Year Anniversary milestone, just days away, it was bittersweet reading this post from the beginning of my journey. I hope […]