This is our second Christmas without Tony but despite that, it was a first of sorts. For our first Christmas without him, I couldn’t bear the thought to be in town. I didn’t want to feel forced to participate in the merriment. The thought of his empty place and the looks of condolence at all […]
Widowed Emotions
Ruff Times and Holidays
“The presence and companionship of dogs, the observation of their playful tactics has helped patients on their way back to normal thinking and living.” Captain Wm. Lewis Judy,Founder of National Dog Week (1928) and long time publisher of Dog World Magazine. I realized the other day that as the Saturday Widow’s Voice poster I’d be […]
A Collision of Griefs
COLLISION implies the coming together of two or more things with such force that both or all are damaged or their progress is severely impeded. —Merriam Webster Not a great day today. Not an actual collision, but a collision of complications connected with the death of my husband. If I were to name it, were […]
Another Suicide Loss
Last week, news broke that Stephen “tWitch” Boss died by suicide. As a survivor of suicide loss, each time I hear of someone else dying this way I feel a little crushed. It’s like my brain can’t process how or why this keeps happening to people. The subsequent days filled my news feeds with things […]
Seasons of The Mermaid
When I first moved to Southeast Coastal Georgia in March 2020, the Pandemic was in its early stages. In our new clime, however, life went on pretty much as usual with fewer restrictions than in the Northern region we’d just left. March in Southeast Georgia can be quite warm and by April, pool season was […]
Holiday Adaptations
In the fall of 2020, my late husband purchased the Christmas tree of his dreams at a Lowes in Kingsland, GA. After a challenging year Rich looked forward to the joy of the holiday season he’d always loved. We purchased that tree on a very warm southern September day. We’d moved from New Jersey to […]
Songbird
Thats how I feel. Blah. For the past couple of months or so, my body feels blah and tired and just drained, I guess. I’ve been having trouble getting out emotions. Its weird, but I got really sad about the death of Fleetwood Mac’s Christine McVie. Its not like I know her personally or anything. […]
Early Morning Musings In Between Holidays
In 2021, seven months after Dan died, Thanksgiving arrived. In the calendar of our family traditions Christmas arrived just 32 days later. It is hard to believe that this is only the second holiday season since Dan left us. This morning, I am thinking about some who may be reading this that it is their […]
Being friends because your friend is dead
I have been having a few lovely days in Paris. It might be best known for being gorgeous in the Spring, and I do like it in the Summer too, but I think it’s lovely in the Autumn as well. Plenty of trees with oranges and yellows in them, fresh temperatures, blue to blue-grey skies. […]
Account Changes are Hard
Today the plan was to write about how we put things off because we know it’s going to be hard. We have enough hard so if there’s a path of less resistance, I might just follow it. And then I put writing this blog off all day. Clearly, I’m sticking with my theme of stalling […]
Some Holidays are Better Than Others
One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married friends, family members and colleagues as they speak glowingly of their trips and celebrations of decades spent in togetherness. While we are truly happy […]
Thankful and bitter.
At the time of year when we traditionally pause to give thanks and reflect on the things we are grateful for, I often feel like a bitter person. I feel like everyone else is so full of gratitude, even amidst pain and loss, and I am just…not. The truth is, I am grateful for so […]