While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that I rushed through the four years of high school and the four years of college only now to find myself fast forwarded to being widowed for over four years. I have learned that life will, undoubtedly, bring you grief. Grief is inevitable. Grief provides perspective and returns us to an ancient inner knowing – dark cannot exist without light; death cannot exist without life and grief cannot exist without joy. Powerful wisdom that can generate immense positive energy.
Like death, grief cannot be avoided but grief offers one thing that death does not, grief offers opportunity to learn and live forward. You can’t find life after you die but you can find joy after you grieve, and rediscovered joy is sweeter than any other. The magic that ignites it is gratitude. Grief is, unfortunately, a renewable resource but it can be used as fuel. Through gratitude I convert grief to joy. When I learned this ability, joy became limitless, outpouring and infects others around me. Grief and joy are the two great unifiers. So, on your darkest days remember you can take that energy and use it to push you towards joy. Be your own light and you will light up the world around you. You are worth it because there are smiles waiting for you in your future.
People search for “the end” of their grief and never realize you never get over it, you never “move on” but you can “move forward”. Grief has the ultimate unconclusive conclusion. To master grief, one must grow through it. Pushing up through the heavy soil into the fog, sending roots down in anger, passively waiting for a season to self-germinate and finally finding a harvest of happiness. Writing this blog has gifted me with more insight and understanding than I ever knew was possible. This blog is a true gift to me and has been an honor to write. Although I know that life still has future twists and turns, it is time I truly move forward so this will be my last blog. This blog has been an anchor in the storms, but the storm is over, and this blog is keeping me from fully appreciating the adventures ahead.
I have the honor of introducing you to the new blog writer for Soaring Spirits Saturdays – Lisa Kruysman.
Originally from New Jersey, artist/writer/blogger Lisa Begin-Kruysman has called Southeast Georgia her home for the past two and a half years. It was during a road trip last October, when she and her husband Rich were returning south after celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary, that he became ill. He would pass just four weeks later. The author of several books, including Dog’s Best Friend (McFarland & Co. 2014) mostly inspired by the special human-canine bond, Lisa serves on the Board of Directors for the Dog Writers Association of America and now returns to blogging posting for Widow’s Voice with the intention of sharing her personal experience of widowhood with those who know the struggles first-hand and to perhaps help those who struggle to understand the daily challenges facing those who’ve lost a spouse or significant other.
With great gratitude and joy,
-Bryan (Sealionbryan)
