• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Widow's Voice

Widow's Voice

  • Soaring Spirits
  • Donate
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors
    • Kelley Lynn
    • Emily Vielhauer
    • Emma Pearson
    • Kathie Neff
    • Gary Ravitz
    • Victoria Helmly
    • Bryan Martin

Victoria Helmly

I should have done more.

Posted on: May 20, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

**This post contains discussion of suicide and seeking mental health treatment for suicidal ideation.  Some background: before Boris died by suicide, he was hospitalized three different times. Two times in the same hospital. He also did a partial hospitalization program at the same place and some evening groups.  If you live in the U.S., especially […]

Categories: Widowed by Suicide

Daydreaming.

Posted on: May 13, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if Boris came back to life now. If he just appeared again, alive and starting where he left off. Maybe he was never dead. Maybe he was just away. I have little daydreams about this pretty often (And, sometimes my subconscious joins in and I have vivid […]

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly

Love has Paws

Posted on: May 6, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Dear Kitty Cat, What a silly name your dad gave you. I tried to convince him to choose a more creative name, but he was settled on Kitty Cat. Now, I couldn’t imagine you having any other name. And I could not imagine life without you, though I know all too well how fragile that […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Return to Therapy

Posted on: April 22, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Tomorrow I will be returning to therapy after several months “off”. It feels like good timing, but I wonder how it will be different this time around. I started going to therapy shortly after Boris was hospitalized for suicidal ideation for the first time, in June 2017. We also saw a couples therapist for several […]

Categories: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Therapy, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

4 years

Posted on: April 8, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

April 7th marks 4 years since I saw Boris alive. And, it still feels like, how can this be? I have been listening to Maren Morris’s new album and she has this song about someone she loves dying and imagining what the world would do without them. I know the sun will set into the […]

Categories: Widowed Milestones, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Trauma

Posted on: March 25, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Isn’t it weird and incredible what we can do if we have no other choice? Our traumatic experiences, before they happened, seemed foreign and impossible. They seemed like things we would not be able to survive. And we definitely never thought we could not only survive but function and do the “tasks” of grief. But […]

Categories: Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

It is just a spider.

Posted on: March 11, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Yesterday, March 10th, Boris should have turned 31. But, as we all know, our people are forever frozen in time. In his case, he’s forever 27. I miss him so much every day, but on his birthday I always feel his absence a little more. For his birthday, wanted to share a memory and what […]

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed Birthdays

Undone.

Posted on: February 25, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

A partially written Master’s thesis. Half-completed songs. Medication bottles with pills still inside. An unmade bed. A guitar halfway strung. Bills unpaid. A bottle of water never finished. A face of stubble never shaved. Laundry that needed washing. Tickets to concerts never to be attended. A cat that needed to be fed. Work and volunteer […]

Categories: Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly

The World’s Loss

Posted on: February 11, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Sometimes I get sad for other people’s loss of Boris. Not only people he knew but also the people who never got to meet him. At times this grief feels worse than my own even though I know it isn’t. Boris was so many things to so many people. And then there are the people […]

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

Reflecting on Early Days of Grief

Posted on: January 28, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

I am realizing that I am now far enough out from my loss to have some perspective on my behaviors and reactions when I was only hours, days, weeks, and months out from it. Isn’t it weird how much we forget and the parts we remember? And I wonder how much of it I remember […]

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy, Widowed by Suicide

Loving him was red.

Posted on: January 14, 2022 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

So, this is going to sound weird. But, sometimes I feel jealous of widows who have seemingly perfect love stories with their late partners. Especially, widows who were married, had a beautiful house together, and so many big life moments together. I have no engagement photos or stories, no wedding videos, no “bought our first […]

Categories: Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Without Children, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly, Widowed by Suicide

“Happy” New Year?

Posted on: December 31, 2021 | Posted by: Victoria Helmly

Well, somehow tomorrow marks a new year. If I am being honest, I do not feel cheery or happy with the ring of the new year. I feel like 2021 was just a year of surviving and getting by. My dad’s health took a turn in late December 2020 and since then he has needed 24/7 […]

Categories: Widowed & Unmarried, Widowed Effect on Family/Friends, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Emotions

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 5
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

  • Authors
    • Kelley Lynn
    • Emily Vielhauer
    • Emma Pearson
    • Kathie Neff
    • Gary Ravitz
    • Victoria Helmly
    • Bryan Martin

Footer

Quick Links

  • Home
  • Blog
  • Categories
  • Authors

SSI Network

  • Soaring Spirits International
  • Camp Widow
  • Resilience Center
  • Widowed Village
  • Widowed Pen Pal Program
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

Contact Info

Soaring Spirits International
2828 Cochran St. #194
Simi Valley, CA 93065

Email: [email protected]

Phone: 877-671-4071

Soaring Spirits International is a 501(c)3 Corporation EIN#: 38-3787893. Soaring Spirits International provides resources with no endorsement implied.

Copyright © 2022 Widow's Voice. All Rights Reserved.