Photos my own, taken at the Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Geneva, Switzerland Yesterday, unusually, I went to church. Twice. And I spoke. From the pulpit. Yes – really. I had been invited – some six or more months ago – to speak at the Holy Trinity Church in Geneva, an Anglican church. As often […]
Widowed Emotions
Suicide Prevention Day
Cover Photo by Thought Catalog on Unsplash It’s probably clear from the title but I want to start by disclosing that I will be writing about suicide in this weeks post. In July, the new national prevention hotline number, 988, launched. September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month and Friday the 10th was World Suicide Prevention […]
Revisiting My Tears
Earlier this week I sat down at the computer, intending to pound out an article about Labor Day being the unofficial end of Summer, but could not get past the vision I was having of Lee: I’m watching her and just then she opens those soft and large brown eyes I’d grown to love and […]
Grief and Loss Witnessed From Further Out
Main image by Sean Oulashin on Unsplash As so often when I sit down to write, my starting point could be one of so many. My ending point could be one of so many. And where I go in between could be many many many directions. One starting point could be the importance of mentors, […]
The Volcano
I had something else written but this came to me right before I hit publish at 10pm. It’s a quick first draft but it feels more real than the mundane checklist of last week’s griever agenda. Thanks for reading and always being kind. The Volcano During the first 365, the sky was clouded with ash, […]
Stop Rushing Towards The Grief
I distinctly remember being in the 5th grade and saying: “Just 7 more years until I graduate. Then it’s college and dolphin training. Hang in there Bryan, it’s just 7 more years.” I wanted to be free of the bullying and I wanted my dream job, so I wished for time to tick by faster. […]
Bad Dreams.
I have a recurring dream that Boris has come back to life (or returned from being mysteriously gone for 4 years). It happens less frequently than it used to, but the other night it happened again. In this dream, he was back and I was ecstatic and ready to return to our relationship where we […]
Never Ready
I can tell you exactly where I was standing . . . and who I was with when I heard that our superman died. “Impossible” I said. We are never fully ready to accept the death of our person. Time is a magician. Even with early warnings that death is near, time suddenly runs out. […]
Of God and Grief
40 days and 40 nights. Sometimes that’s how grief has felt along this journey. No one quite understands the impact that first grief flood has on you until you find your floating around and all the land is gone. Nothing but a horizon. You feel helpless, alone and lost. It has taken lots of navigating […]
Even the fun things.
Well, I went to that Odesza concert. And, I brought a little of Boris with me and left a little of him behind. I think he would appreciate that a little sprinkle of him is there. I struggled with what to write about as I sat down to write today. My brain feels a bit […]
Why her? Why you? Why now?
This post from Emma from early 2021 still resonates….we all ask the “Why” question. Medjool has a precious childhood friend – let’s call him Yves – who is still very much a presence in his life today. To say that Yves is spiritually aware, spiritually curious, even spiritually provocative, would be an understatement. I am […]
Taking Flight
As I pause and look at my life now, I can’t help but be grateful for everything that has been gifted to me, especially the love I’m surrounded by now. This week I truly wanted to see how far I have come so I looked back to my blog post 2 years ago. As I read […]