This month I embarked on a solo trip for fun to Los Angeles and Palm Springs. I have done this once before. In 2019, before I started my Ph.D. program I went to Puerto Rico by myself. It was freeing and exciting, but there were lonely parts and times when I wished I had someone […]
Widowed and Healing
On the Road
I had intended to publish last Thursday, as usual, but then experienced technical issues. Such are the vagaries of being off on the road. As you can see, I’m back online today and anxious to make up for lost time. *** After a wonderful extended visit with Robyn, we went our separate ways before dawn […]
Greek Tragedy
Losing Tony hasn’t really made me question who I am as a person, but it has made me question how I should spend my time. As a couple, we each participated in activities that the other person wouldn’t sign up for alone. I’ve been to NASCAR races, BBQ contests, and attempted to fish. None of […]
Powering Through
In the spring of 2014, I was diagnosed with a thyroid disease called Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis. My doctor proclaimed it was the worst case he’d ever seen and classified my case as Myxedema, another term for severely advanced hypothyroidism, a condition that occurs when your body doesn’t produce enough thyroid hormone. As January is Thyroid Awareness […]
Mapping Grief:
A Man Called Otto. We first meet Otto six months after his wife’s death. With no apparent family, and having cut ties with those he was once close with, a grief-stricken Otto is isolated and in constant pain. He rages like a wounded bull as he goes about his daily life in the tiny neighborhood […]
In Praise of Love and Mountains
Photo and Art by Véronique Balcerzak After Mike died, I made an effort, particularly at Christmastime, to ensure there was a gift from him, not only for each of the kids, but also for myself. The first year, it was soft toy teddys made from his t-shirts. I remember that we needed some kind of […]
Word of the Year
In my very first post here I said I’ve never been a New Year resolution kind of gal. I still maintain that I am not. For me, the resolutions are too specific and confined that make me feel destined to fail. As a lifelong perfectionist failure is way outside my comfort zone. Over the last […]
Countdown
It was supposed to have been Costa Rica. Or it could have been Panama. Maybe Ecuador, or even Nicaragua. Our long planned journey of a lifetime: to experience the joys of eternal spring, high in the green coffee mountains of Boquete; or, to awaken at dawn in the Osa to the calls of the howlers […]
Resilience
What is resilience? the Sea asked the Rock Ask the tree the Rock replied What is Resilience? the Sea asked the Tree We are it the Tree replied Sky, Tree, Plants, Rock, and Sea each in our own way. Keep going.
Tapping in to The “Terrible Two-Year”
Posting here each Saturday has been an incredible opportunity. I love when someone tells me they’ve shared my post(s) with someone else who’s lost a spouse or experienced another kind of significant loss. Even those who haven’t have expressed their appreciation for the insight they’ve derived from some of these posts. That is what keeps […]
Reflections on Grief
From Toko-Pa Turner Gift from the new year — a single piece of paper with quotes about grief from Toko-Pa Turner’s book, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home. There is nothing on the paper to say where it came from who typed it if it was a gift to me or . . . ??? I find […]
Grief Is…a repost worth sharing
This week was the first anniversary of Tony’s death. Despite the strange time warp of grief, I have pulled us along into the second year. One hour, one day, one week, one month at a time. I imagine the road ahead is counted in years instead of the grains of time, but time will tell. […]