September 9 is the date set for our block party, an annual late summer event for the past five years, or so, except for two years when there was no block party due to Covid. The dates change but it’s always held on a Saturday around this time of year. I’m not sure of its […]
Widowed and Healing
Never Ready
I can tell you exactly where I was standing . . . and who I was with when I heard that our superman died. “Impossible” I said. We are never fully ready to accept the death of our person. Time is a magician. Even with early warnings that death is near, time suddenly runs out. […]
Of God and Grief
40 days and 40 nights. Sometimes that’s how grief has felt along this journey. No one quite understands the impact that first grief flood has on you until you find your floating around and all the land is gone. Nothing but a horizon. You feel helpless, alone and lost. It has taken lots of navigating […]
Why her? Why you? Why now?
This post from Emma from early 2021 still resonates….we all ask the “Why” question. Medjool has a precious childhood friend – let’s call him Yves – who is still very much a presence in his life today. To say that Yves is spiritually aware, spiritually curious, even spiritually provocative, would be an understatement. I am […]
Taking Flight
As I pause and look at my life now, I can’t help but be grateful for everything that has been gifted to me, especially the love I’m surrounded by now. This week I truly wanted to see how far I have come so I looked back to my blog post 2 years ago. As I read […]
Talking to the Dog – Again
Today, a sweltering hot-for-us day, as I turned up the stairs towards my home office and saw Black the dog outside in the garden, I called out to him, “Stay well hydrated, Blacky, won’t you?” He just looked at me. He didn’t nod. He didn’t get up and trot over to his probably too warm […]
It’s Okay to Lie
In general, I’m pretty much an open book. You want to know something about me, just ask, I’ll probably tell you. That would be why I didn’t bristle when approached to write this blog; share my weekly inner musing with the internet – sure why not?! However, there are times in life where the truth […]
All in Grief Time
After 23 years of effort, I’m leaving the field of animal care. I’m turning in my whistle and taking off my watch. A career with animals I dreamed to hold as a kid. Biology degree with minors in chemistry and behavioral psychology. I poured my heart, mind and passion into competing for minimum wage all […]
Meaning.
David Kessler writes about finding meaning after loss. He says that finding meaning is the sixth “stage” of grief. I have struggled with “meaning-making” after Boris died and how to do that with such a traumatic, tragic loss. I feel like I have dabbled in ways that I can honor his memory, but nothing has […]
Yay!
For All of Us! We take off our wedding rings… (or) We leave them on… (or) We wear our ring on our neck… We don’t believe in an after-life… (or) We believe our partner is near and talk to our person every day…. (or) We find meaning in places our person has been […]
Quiet Nights
I don’t sit alone very often. I could tell you it’s because I have 3 kids at home that I’m a solo parent to, but I think I’d be lying. The real reason I don’t sit alone is because I don’t like to, and I don’t want to. Friday night, I found myself sitting outside […]
Grief Gardener
I was overwhelmed with the immense inheritance of isolation that bereavement bestowed upon me. The biggest question keeping me from moving forward was: “Where do I even begin?” Analysis paralysis when all things seem unorganized, depression dust devils making the barren widowed wasteland look impossible. How do I even start? This week we had the […]