Just the other day I was telling Robyn that I could not think of a subject for my blog piece this week. I then stopped to consider what a prominent feature of my week writing this entry has become for me. It is a time-consuming endeavor. It also takes a fair amount of discipline to […]
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My Love . . .
. . . as you know, today is my birthday This is seventy. I’ll be back here after my whaling day. Hoping to see signs of you, but even if I do not . . . I know you are near. I know you are always near. Will be back here to update later this […]
Birthdays and Earth Days
Main image by Casey Horner on Unsplash. Other pictures my own, unless stated I don’t know why it is, but I have always felt I have disproportionately more Aries, Taurus and Gemini friends than from other parts of the year. Even if my childhood bestie was none of these. Nor was Mike. But in terms […]
Grief Is
This week was the first anniversary of Tony’s death. Despite the strange time warp of grief, I have pulled us along into the second year. One hour, one day, one week, one month at a time. I imagine the road ahead is counted in years instead of the grains of time, but time will tell. […]
Boxes and Bags and Piles, Oh My!
So my parents are moving on Tuesday. For the past almost decade, I have either lived in their house with them (before getting my own apartment with Nick, and then, now, our own house), or they have been less than 10 minutes away. I could just “drop by” mom and dads, which happened often, and […]
From My Present to My Past
Dear Bryan, I’m imagining today that I am able to write to you in our past to give you a glimmer of hope. Where you are at the start of this widowed journey is not where you are forever trapped. I’ll be honest with you and say that there will be tough days, months and […]
Return to Therapy
Tomorrow I will be returning to therapy after several months “off”. It feels like good timing, but I wonder how it will be different this time around. I started going to therapy shortly after Boris was hospitalized for suicidal ideation for the first time, in June 2017. We also saw a couples therapist for several […]
Cousins Club
Cousin Judy called out of the blue a few days ago to inform me that she will be here later this week to visit family. She wants me to join them for dinner on Friday and possibly for Sunday luncheon, too. The family members I refer to are her close family members. I expect those […]
Five Things You MIGHT Experience After
The Funeral 1. Relief In thinking about having a funeral one year after my beloved husband died, many doubts arose. How could we gather friends and family after this much time passed? Would anyone come to the service? We were able to put together a lovely celebration of Dan’s life. And many people came out […]
Forever Young
Main image by Angello Pro on Unsplash Today is not only Easter Day. It’s also our lovely Megan’s 21st birthday. Her sixth birthday without her father. Her 16th birthday was just nine days after her dad died. Finding a date for Mike’s funeral in 2017 was so very hard. There is a “minimum” time required […]
Looking Forwards and Backwards
This weekend was a swirl of activities with soccer games, Easter and my oldest son turning 13. I didn’t have much time to look forward. So now it is Monday morning, and I am entering this week with trepidation. This is the week that will make it 365 days since Tony passed. I find myself […]
Easter Vibes
Happy Easter to those who celebrate – Happy Sunday to those who don’t – and Happy “Congrats! You made it through another day today, and a holiday to boot!” to those in deep grief. Im blogging at 9pm at night tonight, because its the first chance Ive had to sit and write something today. This […]