When and if you decide to start dating again, you know the road isn’t going to be easy. It wasn’t easy in my twenties, why would it be easy in my forties? There will be times that it’s fun and there will times that it will hurt. This week it hurt, but here’s me trying […]
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Time Jump
I know that the concept of time moving fast isnt exactly anything new. The idea of “where did the time go?” is something that people talk about all of the …. well, all of the time. But in my last month of being 50 years old, (I will turn 51 in September), for some reason, […]
Of God and Grief
40 days and 40 nights. Sometimes that’s how grief has felt along this journey. No one quite understands the impact that first grief flood has on you until you find your floating around and all the land is gone. Nothing but a horizon. You feel helpless, alone and lost. It has taken lots of navigating […]
Even the fun things.
Well, I went to that Odesza concert. And, I brought a little of Boris with me and left a little of him behind. I think he would appreciate that a little sprinkle of him is there. I struggled with what to write about as I sat down to write today. My brain feels a bit […]
Blank Slate
I’m staring at a blank screen, hoping that I’ll find something to say today that is entertaining, or at least interesting. Some weeks it’s been harder than others for me to crank out a thousand words or so on a blog site that is called the “Widows Voice.” It has started out being one of […]
happy birthday babe
in relation to the years, i feel small marking the memories. i remember when you taught me to light the oven in our first O’Keefe & Merritt stove–light the match, hold the flame to the small hole at the bottom of the oven, turn on the gas. i thought i might blow up the house […]
Why her? Why you? Why now?
This post from Emma from early 2021 still resonates….we all ask the “Why” question. Medjool has a precious childhood friend – let’s call him Yves – who is still very much a presence in his life today. To say that Yves is spiritually aware, spiritually curious, even spiritually provocative, would be an understatement. I am […]
Meet The Teacher
It’s that time of year when the kids go back to school, the schedule fills up and the days are filled with more structure. When I look back on our ‘before’ life, I find it surreal that this is the second year Tony is missing this milestone. This is the second year I have had […]
Taking Flight
As I pause and look at my life now, I can’t help but be grateful for everything that has been gifted to me, especially the love I’m surrounded by now. This week I truly wanted to see how far I have come so I looked back to my blog post 2 years ago. As I read […]
You’re Never Too Old To Learn Something New
At this stage of my life, giving back to my community seems to me a very good idea. But I wonder whether I would feel this way today had Lee not died. I tend to doubt it. Lee and I loved to spend time together. We had not only planned, but were fast approaching, what […]
A Guest House – A Birthday –
and Two Questions How is it possible that Dan’s birthday–the second since his death–is already coming up eleven days from now? Surreal. As a mom of seven, I am used to the arrival of ideas from one or another of my children. How to accomplish one solution or another…what flourishes to add–or ways to contain–an […]
Talking to the Dog – Again
Today, a sweltering hot-for-us day, as I turned up the stairs towards my home office and saw Black the dog outside in the garden, I called out to him, “Stay well hydrated, Blacky, won’t you?” He just looked at me. He didn’t nod. He didn’t get up and trot over to his probably too warm […]