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He Used to Say . . .

Posted on: April 13, 2022 | Posted by: Kathie Neff

We Were His Only Need

He used to say that his heart would take him in the end, that husband of mine—the brave hearted man, father and mentor, friend to many; he used to say that we were all that mattered to him. He laid down his life for us by driving countless miles to care for our needs;

He used to say that he was the luckiest man alive. using up his heart by loving us so well. He used to say that love is all we need to know.

He used to say that he didn’t understand how God worked, or how a Higher Power is a part of our lives, or how the prayers of a Shaman make a difference—but it works, he said. I feel better.

He used to say that trying to be perfect was impossible and apologized for a blindness that came over him when being right was all that mattered—at these times we learned the transformative power of forgiveness.

He used to say, when faced with one of life’s innumerable brick walls, that when we are shit out of luck, we need to stand bravely and own our part. He spoke this truth with his actions over a lifetime.

~ ~ ~

A teacher like this is a hard act to follow. As the funeral details rush towards me, my love, stand by my side and help me to ride the ebb and flow of this life we created.

Categories: Newly Widowed, Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Anniversaries

About Kathie Neff

Kathie Neff was widowed on April 15, 2021. She and her beloved husband, Dan, were high school sweethearts and enjoyed dancing and riding horses together. They lived in gratitude, hope and forgiveness for 50 years and nine months when Dan passed quietly late at night, surrounded by their seven children who, with Kathie, were caring for him in their family home.

Dan and Kathie have been a part of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits International since its inception, as members of Michele Neff Hernandez’s cadre of helpers from the Neff family.

Kathie believes strongly in the strength and bond that is the gift of community and brings a heart of love for all who have been affected by death and dying.

Long live love. XO

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