In general, I’m pretty much an open book. You want to know something about me, just ask, I’ll probably tell you. That would be why I didn’t bristle when approached to write this blog; share my weekly inner musing with the internet – sure why not?! However, there are times in life where the truth […]
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Therapy Through the Years
When I first became widowed, I had good friends and family practically begging me to go see a therapist or a grief counselor. Why? Because after a few months of me being widowed, they were sick of me talking to them, and crying constantly, and being depressed all the time, and they were probably sick […]
All in Grief Time
After 23 years of effort, I’m leaving the field of animal care. I’m turning in my whistle and taking off my watch. A career with animals I dreamed to hold as a kid. Biology degree with minors in chemistry and behavioral psychology. I poured my heart, mind and passion into competing for minimum wage all […]
Meaning.
David Kessler writes about finding meaning after loss. He says that finding meaning is the sixth “stage” of grief. I have struggled with “meaning-making” after Boris died and how to do that with such a traumatic, tragic loss. I feel like I have dabbled in ways that I can honor his memory, but nothing has […]
Blast From the Past
Thinking about these things today, I could not say precisely when I first began to check out from my work. However, I still vividly remember warming to the notion of retired life with Lee, who had bailed from her own work as soon as practicable. When she retired, Lee was not counting on falling deathly […]
Yay!
For All of Us! We take off our wedding rings… (or) We leave them on… (or) We wear our ring on our neck… We don’t believe in an after-life… (or) We believe our partner is near and talk to our person every day…. (or) We find meaning in places our person has been […]
“Worse Things Happen At Sea”
Photos my own and a scan from my dad Growing up in Brussels in the 1970s and 1980s, there were a couple of sea-related sayings that were oft used in our family. Not that we lived close to the sea. Though we did cross the English Channel and the North Sea a few times a […]
Quiet Nights
I don’t sit alone very often. I could tell you it’s because I have 3 kids at home that I’m a solo parent to, but I think I’d be lying. The real reason I don’t sit alone is because I don’t like to, and I don’t want to. Friday night, I found myself sitting outside […]
Pool Party
Today we are having a pool party. Well, its a birthday party, out by our pool, on this 89 degree sunny summer day. My husband Nick’s son, Nicholas, turns 37 years old today. Nick very much wanted to throw him a party, which was planned well before we knew Nick would be having bypass surgery, […]
Grief Gardener
I was overwhelmed with the immense inheritance of isolation that bereavement bestowed upon me. The biggest question keeping me from moving forward was: “Where do I even begin?” Analysis paralysis when all things seem unorganized, depression dust devils making the barren widowed wasteland look impossible. How do I even start? This week we had the […]
Collateral Damage
The other day I received a call from my friend Steve. I met Steve during high school; he is another charter member of the Frazier Thomas Band. We were very close friends until one day we were not. I won’t regale you with the specific reasons, suffice to say that we did not speak for […]
Fall Down Seven Times
Stand Up Eight On this early morning I am thinking about death. The loss of my beloved life-partner demonstrated death to me on the closest level possible. Which takes me to the next thought, I, too, will die. Thoughts such as this come without warning, arriving like fog. One day they are far from your […]