Since he died,
I’ve been scared a lot because I have to do everything on my own.
Since he died,
I’ve been forced to do a hell of a lot more than simply watching movies alone.
I’ve been forced to life alone.
And, this is far from easy.
Widowed
The Keeper of the Lighthouse
Grief’s gaze. I knew it as soon as I got it this week. It’s that look you get from someone who has just suffered a new great loss. It conveys so much with so little. It’s so very different from the look they give to others all around them. Yeah it’s quite a powerful look […]
It’s Over
July, that is.
The death month.
The month that he died.
It’s over.
After today.
For another year.
We now move into August,
and my anxiety finally gets to shut down for awhile.
Twenty Five
Twenty five. Twenty-five years. Next week. We only made it twenty-three years, two weeks and one day. Suzanne died on August 19, 2018. Our 23rd anniversary was August 4, 2018. This was a photo we took at dinner that night: Will I ever reach a 25th anniversary? Is it one of those things that I […]
In Which I Agree 100% with Kelley Lynn~
I read Kelley Lynn’s blog the other day, and felt immediate connection as she wrote about time passing, and 9 years later and Don and grief and what do you do with it or about it after a certain point? What feelings are evoked as the years pass? I’m at 7 years, and it will […]
39 and Counting
Mike and Sarah share Sunday posts, as they are two widows who are in a new relationship together. Today’s post is from Mike: Hey Babe, I’m writing this to you a few day’s belated. It’s been 6 years now since the last time Shelby or I was able to say “Happy Birthday” to your […]
I Have A Sometimes Invisible, Often Chronic, Incurable Condition – I Have Grief.
Hello, For those of you new around here, Hi I’m Bryan. I’m a director of animal care at an aquarium. I’m passionately obsessed with essential oils and environmentally safe products. I’m a son, brother, uncle, cousin and a friend. I love to dance. I love to make others smile. I want to make the world […]
Lunchtime Live
For eleven weeks, before restrictions were lifted and we were still supposed to be sheltered in place here in Southern California, I held a daily 30-minute live broadcast on Facebook. Each day, I chose a topic that meant something to me—and that I thought might resonate with others. These daily broadcasts were meant to thoughtfully engage and help connect people in the time of CoVID.
Widowed Lessons…Not~
What have I learned from Chuck’s death? This particular question, posed to me either in genuine curiosity, or in a weirdly platitudinal manner, never fails to bring forth all the dark humor of my soul. What do people possibly mean, what have I learned from Chuck’s death? I no longer stumble in my response; I […]
Fragile: Handle with Care
For me, when things don’t go right, everything begins to intertwine with his absence. Or more to the point, my aloneness.
Embracing the Detours
This year has meant a lot of detours for many. For all of us who are widowed, the metaphor of a detour is a bold one… the idea of the road being closed ahead and suddenly we are to choose a new direction…
Remembering You on Your Birthday
Tuesday morning I woke up and wasn’t sure how to navigate your birthday. I went to work. I did the things. I stressed wanting to stay calm and collected but also find a way to celebrate you. If you were here, I would have today off. We would have a lazy morning with Roan. We […]