Have you ever prayed for “peace in our world”? Or have you wondered when reading the day’s headlines why we can’t all get along? And on the days when the loss of your spouse is so heavy you can’t get out of bed do you think about being an agent of peace?! I have met so many amazing people on the road of healing. It seems that every day brings…
Widowed
Death Knocks Again
When you have lived the grief experience others often assume you know “just what to say” to a friend or family member who has lost a person they love. Many times I have been the go-to person for advice on what to say, how to help, what not to say, and sometimes for requests to make a personal phone call to a fellow griever. Many times I feel…
Question Number Eighteen
Did you wear your husband’s clothes? For the first few weeks after Phil’s death anything that touched his body was sacred. His shoes were sitting just where he last left them, his lunchbox sat on top of the refrigerator, and his toothbrush was standing next to mine in the holder. One day I found one of his eyelashes and pressed it into a plastic…
The Big Red Day
My husband used to call Valentine’s Day ‘So What Day’…romantic, huh? He thought greeting cards were a waste of trees; that buying flowers because someone told you to defeated the purpose; and that going to dinner on the big day just to eat from a limited menu and have servers anxiously awaiting your departure from the table was ridiculous.
Where is the “Get Out of Jail Free” card??
I am typing away this morning with a winter cold. Runny nose, coughing fits, watery eyes, achy body…the whole package. Overall, I feel pretty miserable. Whenever I am sick, I am reminded of my mom bringing me soup and hot tea as a child. Sometimes my mind wanders to the way I care for my own children when they are sick (I am famous for…
Question Number Seventeen
After your husband’s death, did you sleep in the same bed you shared with him? Phil died at 6:33PM on Wednesday, August 31, 2005. At the end of that horrific day, I stood in the doorway of our bedroom and faced our empty bed. My mom came to stand beside me as I contemplated what to do…go in? stay out? sleep in our room? sleep on the couch? sleep…
Reflecting on the New Year
New Year’s Day is a reflective holiday for me. How would I rate last year overall? Are there any obvious changes that I can make to improve the coming year? When I look back at the past 365 days can I say that I am proud of the way I lived them? Self-reflection, however, is extremely challenging when grief has walked into your life unbidden and…