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What Friends Are For

Posted on: May 26, 2009 | Posted by: Michelle Dippel

http://widowsvoice.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/05_26_09.jpgI’ve spent the holiday weekend in Cali with the other Michele and head back to Texas today. Although the weekend has been packed with activities (sushi night out, a long and beautiful walk, visits with family, a day at the beach, etc.), we’ve managed to cram in some fantastic talks and some really great quality time.

In one of our many conversations, Michele pointed out that although we’ve only been friends for a little over 3 years, we’ve done so many things together that it feels like a much longer time, and despite the geographic separation, we manage to see each other more often than we see some of our friends who live in the same state. An abbreviated list of our activities would include such things as: selecting a husband’s head stone, the scattering of a husband’s ashes, a half marathon, the frantic OJ Simpson style race across LA to Disneyland to make packet pick-up for above referenced half marathon, “pizza christmas” night in NYC, chicken and duck night at the Garth Brook’s concert, children’s birthdays, teenage driving, endless late night phone calls with giggling, crying, laughing out loud, and frustrated cussing (mostly mine, Michele is less profane than I am), the list goes on and on.

I remember realizing about 10 years ago that you just don’t make friends as an adult the way you did as a teenager. You don’t have slumber parties and share all of your intimate thoughts as an adult like you did when you were a much more vulnerable girl. Don’t misunderstand what I mean, we make new friends, but the bond is different. I think it is because we don’t share a history in the same way that we do with our childhood friends. I think the exception to that trend occurs if your friendship is forged in the depths of hell and at the heights of personal vulnerability. Although Michele and I don’t share a long history, we share a jagged path. A path we didn’t choose, and a path we happened to meet on by sheer coincidence (thanks Debi, we owe you big).

I can’t imagine doing this without Michele, and I’m glad I don’t have to try. (The photo above is Michele’s new nephew, who is also my new second cousin…Michele and I are now officially “family” as well!)

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Community

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