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Mie Elmhirst

The Widda’ Elmhirst

Posted on: September 18, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

It was true – the skin on my face was dry and it seemed to have turned a permanent, dull shade of gray. Every morning I put make up on, hoping that this would be the day that it would last beyond 7 AM. It never did. My eyes were dark and puffy. My eye lids hurt to touch.I lost ten pounds that I could not afford to lose, and it seemed that most of…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing

No fixing.

Posted on: September 11, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

School is in session! I have looked forward to this day for over two months. Not because I want Anneke gone, because I don’t, but because with the house empty of daughter and S.O. I get to write without distraction.This past weekend, Labor Day Weekend, I really labored. I cleaned the house, washed the floors, weeded the garden, did three loads of…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed by Illness

Woman’s Intuition

Posted on: September 4, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

Here in the North East, most public schools began their fall sessions this week.  My sister, a first grade teacher, told me in an email that never in her life had she heard so much crying, five and six year olds being asked to leave their parents, many for the first time. According to my sister, “The sound of sobbing was everywhere.” I thought…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed by Illness

Dancing Lessions

Posted on: August 28, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

I have always felt like a flunky on the dance floor. At my college roommate’s wedding an elderly man (he was probably the age I am now) asked me to dance. I politely said that I did not know how to dance but he insisted that it was simple and all that I needed was to follow his lead. Ignoring my protests, he grabbed me, leaving me little choice.

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions

It Is What It Is

Posted on: August 21, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

I was complaining to my daughter (yes I complain still!) as I was filling out a financial aid form for private school, that I didn’t like doing it and that I wanted to be the rich one instead of the not rich one. And maybe I would see if there was any possible way we could afford it so that I wouldn’t have to apply for assistance. The school is…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting

Slower than Molasses

Posted on: August 14, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

I have learned, when Anneke travels, to relax a bit. I only seem to get anxious and hyper the day she returns. While she is gone, I am resigned to the fact that she is there, and I am here and I might as well just chill. Since I have no choice.But the morning of the day she is to come home, I am high strung and anxious, and a pain to be around I am…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

Finally…

Posted on: August 7, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

Yep – that’s me at the steering thingy, getting ready to park the boat. I mean moor it or anchor it or whatever it was that we were doing. Anyhow, it finally happened. Our first fight. On the boat. Our first honest-to-goodness fight. After it was over, and we had both listened, (at least I think I listened), I said to him “Wasn’t that great? We had…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love

Still human…

Posted on: July 31, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

I arrived back home (Cape Cod) from my vacation and the Conference on Widowhood late last night and went straight to bed, more tired than tired. This morning I got up and took a look around. The grass needed to be mowed, the garden needed to be weeded, and the house had a layer of fine dust that I couldn’t see but I knew was there. My desk was…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

Next Stop Letterman…

Posted on: July 24, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

OK, maybe I am exaggerating just a tad… But last weekend, the National Conference on Widowhood gave me the opportunity to step WAAAY outside of my comfort zone. Like, Way. This shy, insecure, risk-averse widow stood in front of a whole bunch of women and revealed herself. I wanted to give these fabulous, courageous and generous widows a few…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Community, Widowed by Illness

Life does sure insist on happening…

Posted on: July 17, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

Life does sure insist on happening. This weekend, while I am in San Diego for the Conference, my daughter will be putting herself on a plane for musical theater camp. She will take a plane to Newark, and then a bus. We have reviewed the itinerary maybe one hundred times. She is really tired of me. “Do you have your ticket? The confirmation number…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed Parenting, Widowed Community

I am Talkin’ !!! (Or…Our imperfect Marriages)

Posted on: July 10, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

What about the widow who was NOT married to her soul mate? What about the widow whose marriage was a challenge? Or, what about the widow who, after her husband died, had to grieve not only him, but who also had to grieve what didn’t happen in her marriage? Who faces the reality of missed opportunities? There are those women among us who married…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed by Illness

Death by Sunburn??

Posted on: July 3, 2009 | Posted by: Mie Elmhirst

My (rather new) significant other is a geologist. A few months ago, he left (Martha’s Vineyard) for the desert West of Palm Springs CA to do field work. He called me each day, either before he left to do field work in the desert, or after he returned. All was well. I was, and am, bonkers over him. I enjoyed our telephone connection. We were a new…

Categories: Widowed, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions, Widowed by Illness

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