I was complaining to my daughter (yes I complain still!) as I was filling out a financial aid form for private school, that I didn’t like doing it and that I wanted to be the rich one instead of the not rich one. And maybe I would see if there was any possible way we could afford it so that I wouldn’t have to apply for assistance. 

The school is wildly expensive and I knew the moment I said it that we could not swing it. But I was remembering the days way back when of money to spare…many, many moons ago. My silly ego was at work once again.

“Mom”, she said, getting that tone in her voice that I think a sixteen year old should not have with her mother but that I let go because I wanted to know what was coming… “Mom I have 3 words for you.” So I bit. “What three words?”

“Suck it up.”

Don’t you hate it when they’re right? The thing about kids like ours, kids who have made it through enormous loss, is that they ultimately develop a certain confidence that other kids just don’t have. An understanding that the world is the way it is and don’t bother complaining. Anneke was simply saying there are bigger things to think about and just accept the gift of financial aid and move on to the next, thank you very much.

And one more thing. Feeling slightly put in my place, and rightfully so, I realized one more thing. It is an incredible joy to hear the lessons we have struggled to teach come out of their mouths and remind us of our own values. ‘Suck it up’ is not one of the lessons I stressed, but acceptance is. And in her 16 year-old way, she taught me that lesson again today.It is what it is. Gratitude for the gift of a fabulous education and for the gift of financial aid.