Dear Mike, It has been over 2.9 years since you died. Since you died, I have diligently and carefully worked to keep you alive in my mind. I have replayed our conversations thousands and thousands of times. And, I have memorized our words by heart. In my mind, I still talk to you every single day. I know exactly what you’d say in our…
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Something New
Some of you who read here often might know that our Tuesday writer Mike and I are both widowed and in a relationship together. For the past few years, often times we are found to be writing about finding love again after being widowed and what it’s like to be in a new relationship as widowed people – both the good stuff and the hard stuff about…
Its About You
For a few years now, I have been writing in this blog each Friday. I love doing it. But there are times when I feel almost selfish. Times when I get bored with my own words and thoughts. I start thinking: “ENOUGH ALREADY about ME!!! Im tired of talking about me!!!” But that is how writing feels. When you are in the moment of writing, it…
10 Months Ago
This week’s post from Mari shares some raw memories of the moments she shared with her husband in the hospital just after his death. If you are feeling vulnerable in your own grief experience today, please either proceed with caution or know that as an act of self-care it’s OK to choose not to read today’s post. It’s been 10 months since I…
Hello Goodbye
Since the spring of 2015, I have written here every Tuesday (well, “most” every Tuesday). I’ve shared my story from just a few months after losing Megan, to now. Having four plus years of what can only amount to a public “journal” has been both surreal and incredibly healing. Oftentimes, it’s hard to recall just how “raw” I…
Coming back to Life
Grief evolves. Thankfully. And, my grief is no exception. Over the last 2.9 years it has changed. And, no, the changes are not always linear. Grief moves you forward and backwards and sideways. It takes you places you never expected to be. And, there is no real end point. There is not a finish line to any of this. We can not shed…
Sandcastles of Safety
My whole life, I’ve played it safe and small because I grew up within a family that taught me to be practical and frugal and not take risks. I’m sure a lot of us grew up in that kind of family. They did their best, but the illusion of safety and security was always a pretty big focus. Even after my mom died and it became apparent that safety…
The Weight of a Living Legacy
Shortly after losing Tin I was honored being asked to write in this space. I quickly felt the weight of grief ease as the words hit the paper. An amazing thing began to happen, others started to respond to my writing that they felt connected again and that lifted my grief a bit more. As I continued moving forward, I had started to use essential…
The Stress of Being Stressed
This will not be a long post today. I apoligize. I think I just spelled that word wrong. I apoligize for that too. Recently, I got my Real Estate license. Also recently, some very big things have happened that affect my life greatly. Things have changed and altered. The future I was looking toward, finally, now has a different view. Its…
You Need to Move On
I was recently told that I need to move on from my husband’s death. As I heard that statement, I thought to myself, what a bold thing to say, especially coming from someone who has never experienced losing the love of their life. Grief is unique to everyone, and NO ONE can tell you how to grieve and what to do. Losing a brother, a son, or even a…
The Sacred Now~
I went to Chuck, a few days before he died, to have a semi final conversation with him. I hoped that we’d have more conversation, but the cancer was taking over and I knew he didn’t have much longer on this earth. Even writing those words shreds my heart, as if I’m in those last days again. Fucking cancer.What I knew was that I needed to say my…
Brussels Sprouts and Roller Coasters
Just yesterday, Sarah and I surprised Shelby (and my nephew) with a trip to Cedar Point, one of the premier amusement parks in the world, just two hours from our home here in Ohio. Shelby has been asking to go back for years now, having only been once, when she was around 5 years old, with Megan and I. She was far too young to ride anything more…