I was recently told that I need to move on from my husband’s death. As I heard that statement, I thought to myself, what a bold thing to say, especially coming from someone who has never experienced losing the love of their life. Grief is unique to everyone, and NO ONE can tell you how to grieve and what to do. Losing a brother, a son, or even a friend is different than losing your soulmate and the love of your life. Death is different for everyone, and the relationships are different. I am not saying that one loss is greater than the other; they are just different.

I have experienced people trying to minimize my grief because my husband and I were together for almost four years. They think it should be easy for me to move on from this since we weren’t together for many years. Well to those people are wrong. Some bonds are more deep-rooted than years. 

I have recently experienced people having strong opinions about how I should live my life and what to do after my husband passed away. It’s not their choice to make on how I move forward as a widow. What I have learned and continue to learn is that I need to be kind to myself, and take care of myself. I need to move forward with my grief at my own pace and on my own route. People will always have an opinion on how things should be. When this happens, I have to remember that their world didn’t stop, but mine and my daughter’s did. So the next time someone tells you to move on from your grief, remember to be kind to yourself, take the time YOU need, and take the route that best suits you.