Main Image by Zac Ong on Unsplash Last Sunday I completed a 20 km running event. My first event of that distance (or so) in three years. I wrote about the run’s run-up last week. I have so often been on the verge of tears at various points in long runs – whether they are […]
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Anti At-Least Parenting
Parenting solo is hard. I could self-criticize plenty of things I did better when there were two of us, but I’m not here to dwell on those today. This weekend, I realized how grief has changed a specific part of my parenting style for the better. Saturday morning, my middle son was woken up by […]
Look Who Is Coming to Thanksgiving Dinner!
In less than two weeks, it will be Thanksgiving. This was Don’s favorite holiday, by far. He loved it for so many reasons. He used to say some version of: “Incredible food, your mom’s apple pie, endless football games, I don’t have to dress up or go anywhere fancy and I don’t need to buy […]
“Urning” Places in the Heart
Rich passed on a Thursday. By Friday morning it became apparent that I had to make final arrangements for him. Throughout nearly 30 years together, Rich and I had attended many funerals and services for friends and family members. “Please don’t ever have one of those for me,” he’d commented on numerous occasions after attending […]
Young Woman Seeks Friend
My friend’s daughter called this past week. I have known the young woman her whole life. Our connection runs deep. As with several other of my closest friends’ children, I’m the avuncular outsider. Within her own family, my friend’s daughter has long been its most sensible and grounded member. As a measure of family dysfunction, […]
Art as a Tool for Healing
An Invitation Making art—giving form to the images that arise in our mind’s eye, our dreams, and our everyday lives—is a form of spiritual practice through which knowledge of ourselves can ripen into wisdom. Pat B. Allen, PhD Art is a Way of Knowing. There is a hidden secret about art that may benefit those […]
Keeping Active Hope Alive for COP27
Tomorrow I am participating in the Geneva 20 km run. The last time I participated in a distance like this – approximating a semi-marathon – was 2019. The year Julia died. I remember that event so clearly. It astounds me that it was already three years ago. And yes, COVID happened. The Lausanne semi-marathon is […]
Birthdays Can Be The Worst Days
Last Wednesday was Tony’s 2nd birthday since his passing. He should have been 45 but he is immortalized at 43. Having already checked off a birthday without him last year, I thought I was mentally ready for this day. I was wrong. When I woke up on the 2nd, I felt the weight of the […]
Forty Six and Alive Forever
Today is November 6th. Don Shepherds birthday. I woke up and immediately thought about him. The heart knows. The next thing that happened is that I smelled bacon. Mmmm. This made me want to get out of bed, of course, and I went into the kitchen where my “hell of a great cook husband” Nick […]
Cumulative Grief
When you’ve experienced multiple losses within a short period of time, you may begin to wonder how much more loss you can endure. This is known as Cumulative Grief, when one experiences multiple losses either all at once, or before processing an earlier loss. In coping with the one year anniversary of my husband’s […]
Netflix & Tears
I just finished watching From Scratch on Netflix and I am…wrecked. And I need to write about it for a minute. I have been drawn to tv shows, movies, books, and songs about death and loss since Boris died. They have been like a balm for me. But, more recently I have been watching more […]
The Journal
Yesterday, as part of a seemingly endless project to cull and organize my personal papers, I came across several items of particular interest. One of these was a blue notebook with several pages of Lee’s handwriting that I had not looked at carefully until yesterday. The notebook looked like Lee had intended for it to […]