In my first posting to this site back in the early winter of 2021 (February 4, 2021), entitled “Please allow me to introduce myself,” I described two of the existential issues I had to confront during the early days following Lee’s death: “So I was left to ponder the BIG QUESTIONS: Am I destined to […]
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Camp Crash is Real
and so are Daily Life Crashes Camp Widow San Diego had everything. Mild San Diego weather, California’s sun and surf, and 300+ folks who know exactly how hard widowhood can be. After the last workshop ended, I had a strong collection of ideas, practices, and suggestions for life back at home. I was in great […]
Counting Trees While Swimming
Main Image by Laura Smetsers on Unsplash Yesterday I attempted to swim across Lac Léman/Lake Geneva at its widest point – Lausanne on the north shore, in Switzerland, to Evian, famed for its ubiquitous spring water, in France, on the south. It’s 13 km as the crow flies. And even when the weather is impeccable […]
Uncharted Parenting
I have never tried to keep how Tony passed a secret. Even if I had, the community here is too tight knit. Although we’re part of a metro city, the suburbs where I live is one of those where you can’t go anywhere without seeing someone you know. Add in the fact that both Tony […]
The Grief Hangover
My widowed journey has been unique. The timeline delt to me kept me four years from the closure of Clayton’s funeral. This week has felt different, lighter but emotionally dizzy. Most of us deal with all the immediate emotional events within weeks but life decided to stretch mine out and this week I finally feel […]
“No last goodbye”
One of the more difficult moments in the months after Boris died was attending a concert that we were supposed to go to together. For Boris’s birthday in March 2018, I purchased two tickets to see Odesza, one of Boris’s favorite groups, in Nashville. The concert was in May. But, he died in April. I […]
But Still…
I’ve been going nuts with the business of living ever since I returned home on Sunday, following my final few days at Deer Tick Manor. As I a prepare tonight’s impromptu cookout for some neighbors, I’m afraid that this week’s blog offering has less meat on the bone than is typical. *** As for my […]
Camp Widow San Diego 2022
Gratitude, Respect, and Wonder Camp Widow is a wrap and the value of storytelling is strong in my being. Images are vivid in my mind. I’m remembering the Well Loved photos of our persons who are honored front-and-center throughout the entire event. I’m thinking about the messages of compassion, help, and hope which met us […]
Reasons to, Reasons not to
Images my own, July 2022 – Lake Geneva In a couple of days, I hope to swim across Lake Geneva at its widest point – Lausanne to Evian. 13 km. A smidge over 8 miles. As the crow flies. And I am neither a crow, nor am I flying. Instead, the wind seems to be […]
Happy Camper
Today I’m coming to you from sunny San Diego before I fly home to the Midwest tonight. I’ve spent the last 4 days immersed in my widow community at Camp Widow. I am so happy I found this network of grievers who lift each other up in whatever they need in the moment. Last October, […]
Growing Through Grief with Gratitude
Yesterday I felt like I hit the grief guardrail at 75 miles an hour. I knew it was coming and I knew I couldn’t turn fast enough. It was emotionally inevitable and, as much as I wanted to avoid it, I also have been needing it. It was an intimate group of family and friends […]
Sky full of stars.
This week when NASA released those new images of space, I immediately thought of Boris. I know that he would be intrigued and excited, but also he would have some sort of special insight…like, he already knew the images were going to be released because of some Reddit thread or he would know some obscure […]