in relation to the years, i feel small marking the memories. i remember when you taught me to light the oven in our first O’Keefe & Merritt stove–light the match, hold the flame to the small hole at the bottom of the oven, turn on the gas. i thought i might blow up the house […]
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Why her? Why you? Why now?
This post from Emma from early 2021 still resonates….we all ask the “Why” question. Medjool has a precious childhood friend – let’s call him Yves – who is still very much a presence in his life today. To say that Yves is spiritually aware, spiritually curious, even spiritually provocative, would be an understatement. I am […]
Meet The Teacher
It’s that time of year when the kids go back to school, the schedule fills up and the days are filled with more structure. When I look back on our ‘before’ life, I find it surreal that this is the second year Tony is missing this milestone. This is the second year I have had […]
Taking Flight
As I pause and look at my life now, I can’t help but be grateful for everything that has been gifted to me, especially the love I’m surrounded by now. This week I truly wanted to see how far I have come so I looked back to my blog post 2 years ago. As I read […]
You’re Never Too Old To Learn Something New
At this stage of my life, giving back to my community seems to me a very good idea. But I wonder whether I would feel this way today had Lee not died. I tend to doubt it. Lee and I loved to spend time together. We had not only planned, but were fast approaching, what […]
A Guest House – A Birthday –
and Two Questions How is it possible that Dan’s birthday–the second since his death–is already coming up eleven days from now? Surreal. As a mom of seven, I am used to the arrival of ideas from one or another of my children. How to accomplish one solution or another…what flourishes to add–or ways to contain–an […]
Talking to the Dog – Again
Today, a sweltering hot-for-us day, as I turned up the stairs towards my home office and saw Black the dog outside in the garden, I called out to him, “Stay well hydrated, Blacky, won’t you?” He just looked at me. He didn’t nod. He didn’t get up and trot over to his probably too warm […]
It’s Okay to Lie
In general, I’m pretty much an open book. You want to know something about me, just ask, I’ll probably tell you. That would be why I didn’t bristle when approached to write this blog; share my weekly inner musing with the internet – sure why not?! However, there are times in life where the truth […]
Therapy Through the Years
When I first became widowed, I had good friends and family practically begging me to go see a therapist or a grief counselor. Why? Because after a few months of me being widowed, they were sick of me talking to them, and crying constantly, and being depressed all the time, and they were probably sick […]
All in Grief Time
After 23 years of effort, I’m leaving the field of animal care. I’m turning in my whistle and taking off my watch. A career with animals I dreamed to hold as a kid. Biology degree with minors in chemistry and behavioral psychology. I poured my heart, mind and passion into competing for minimum wage all […]
Meaning.
David Kessler writes about finding meaning after loss. He says that finding meaning is the sixth “stage” of grief. I have struggled with “meaning-making” after Boris died and how to do that with such a traumatic, tragic loss. I feel like I have dabbled in ways that I can honor his memory, but nothing has […]
Blast From the Past
Thinking about these things today, I could not say precisely when I first began to check out from my work. However, I still vividly remember warming to the notion of retired life with Lee, who had bailed from her own work as soon as practicable. When she retired, Lee was not counting on falling deathly […]