At this stage of my life, giving back to my community seems to me a very good idea. But I wonder whether I would feel this way today had Lee not died. I tend to doubt it. Lee and I loved to spend time together. We had not only planned, but were fast approaching, what we envisioned would be a comfortable future where we lived happily ever after — until cancer came along to cancel it.
Six or seven months after Lee passed, I began to volunteer at a neighborhood food pantry within walking distance from where we resided. My initial reason for undertaking this endeavor was to honor her. As I have mentioned previously in these pages, Lee was one of the most altruistic human beings I have ever known. However, I am not.
The truth is that my role as a public-spirited grocery bag boy is not particularly satisfying. I like some of the folks I work with at the pantry, but volunteers also tend to come and go. I know a couple who disappeared from the scene for extended periods only to resurface at the pantry months later. Our regular clients present a mixed bag of humanity: on Thursdays we serve frail seniors, mothers toting their young children, several pairs of large, rough-looking men. Lately, I have been serving a surprisingly substantial number of stylishly dressed millennials, who I assume must either be grossly underpaid or else between jobs to be reduced to searching us out for the free handouts. And while most regulars express sincere gratitude with their kind smiles for the existence of our tiny storefront operation where they can get fresh vegetables, poultry, fish or beef, milk and eggs, cheese and an ever-changing assortment of boxed and bagged items, a few are simply greedy. They are the ones always loudly demanding more than a fair share based on an outsized sense of entitlement that is unwarranted by their circumstances. After eighteen months, aside from honoring Lee’s memory, I am still hard-pressed to identify another motive to explain my continuing participation in this venture.
***
In a few days I expect to get a document, issued by my State, certifying that I am qualified as a tutor. This certificate will allow me to help other adults to improve their reading and writing abilities. Thereafter, a sponsoring organization will be assigning a person to my tutelage.
Although I have no experience whatsoever as a teacher, since offering my services on a volunteer basis, I have for these past several months been studying for the assignment. I’m anxious to begin but also know there is going to be a steep learning curve for me.
Of course, one-on-one mentoring imposes a lot more personal responsibility than my current food pantry duties. Yet, in the big scheme the activity is neither intrinsically more important nor worthwhile than filling another human being’s hungry belly.
***
My adult “student” will not be pursuing study merely for study’s sake. Rather, he or she will be drawn from a pool of highly motivated individuals who want to improve their lot by acquiring reading (and writing) skills to get a better job or to secure a better future for their children. Their seemingly modest short term goals might include preparing a professional resume or filling out a job application truthfully, while simultaneously portraying the job applicant in the best possible light. The more ambitious among them will be seeking a GED certificate, perhaps as part of an even broader quest to pry open other doors to a better future. For these folks, setting such loftier goals means developing new or at least vastly improved skills. I think that I could be helpful.
I believe my success or failure as a mentor may turn on developing better interpersonal skills. For sure, I need to be a better listener. I will need constantly to remind myself to be sensitive to our cultural differences and to be mindful that my “student” is a grown person possessing unique life experiences that he or she brings to the table. I find it only slightly paradoxical that the most important skill l might need to succeed as a reading mentor is the simple ability to carry on an honest conversation by listening carefully.
As I look ahead, I also am reminded that this same skill would serve me well in all areas of my personal life. To be successful, mentoring must be a two-way street. As my student learns from me, ideally mentoring advances my education.
