Widow's Voice

Spontaneous Travel

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One of the many ways in which I am different since Tony’s death is my ability and desire to be spontaneous, especially when it comes to travel.

This last weekend I went back to the lake for a weekend away. Once again, there were 5 families and comprised of 12 kids and 8 adults. We’ve had this weekend planned for months and it contained all the tubing, swimming, paddle boarding and boat rides we could ask for. Each adult pitching in to make sure the kids had sunscreen applied and plenty of snacks. We spent three nights and 2 full days in the sun as Sunday rolled in.


As we were sitting on the dock while the kids got a few more hours of play time in and one of the homeowners started talking about staying more night. They taunted us with a trip to the marina for candy and a makeshift beach bar with pizza. I wasn’t in a hurry to get home to an empty house without Tony on Father’s Day, so it didn’t require much arm twisting. In less than 45 minutes, it was settled; the kids and I would stay one more night. We could hit the road by 6:30am to be home in time for the sitter at 9am.

Two weeks ago, I realized the kids didn’t have any summer travel plans. I got online and looked at a few destinations and airline prices. Flights to Charleston were surprisingly affordable. I texted my friend who lives to see if it would work for her family. Once she gave me the go ahead, I booked our flights. I decided where to go and booked flights within 48 hours.

Without another adult schedule to adhere to and no one to bounce ideas off, I just go.
My work hours and vacation time were always more flexible than Tony’s. It was just the nature of his work and its requirements. If he was still here, we would have been driving home yesterday.

Sometimes, I feel guilty that I find myself enjoying this aspect of our lives. I would rather be doing all these things with him. Given the choice, we’d rather come home on Sunday and skip Charleston. But we don’t get that option, so I’m doing my best to take my kids on adventures and live every moment we’ve got on this Earth.

 

About Emily Vielhauer

My name is Emily Vielhauer, I am 45 years old and have 3 knuckleheaded sons who are between the ages of 11 and 15. My husband, Tony, and I were married for 14 years and despite how things ended we built something great together.

April 19th, 2021 was the last day of my ‘before’ story. The day before I became a widow, before I was a solo parent to 3 boys, before I knew my love was suffering in silence, before suicide rocked my world, before I had to break the hearts of my children and all our friends and family, before I planned a funeral and delivered a eulogy, before I knew the true depths of my love for Tony and the way that love would be expressed through grief, so many befores.

My hope for this blog is to take you along with me as I navigate my life in the ‘after’ and that my words help someone else out there, whether they empower you or just let you know that you’re not alone out there.