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July 4th – Our Wedding Anniversary

Posted on: June 29, 2022 | Posted by: Kathie Neff

Photo courtesy of Jonathan Borba via unsplash.com

Happy Anniversary, my love.

Just a couple of kids who fell in love and were married just out of high school. Who knew we’d spend 51+ years together on this earth?

Photo courtesy of Trent Yarnell via unsplash.com

A spark made it possible.

The spark dimmed at times, but it never went completely out.

We learned how to re-ignite it.

We had great teachers.

We gave up.

We started over.

We kept trying to love our best all the way to the end.

We were lucky.

Photo courtesy of benjamin lehman via unsplash.com

Dan always said that the Fourth of July was the greatest day to get hitched.

His reasoning?

  1. He never forgot our anniversary…
  2. The whole country celebrated with fireworks…
  3. And he always had the day off….

In grief, the landscape of our feelings can change in an instant. As I write this I am filled with gratitude…while other moments I skate around the ring of despair. Impossible to predict, we learn to ride the waves of it as best we can.

Grief is what it is: unpredictable, surprising, erratic . . .

Finding happiness during grief requires some creativity. This year I’m spending Fourth of July with a group of widows and widowers who created a mini-holiday-oasis-space for folks like me. I am deeply fond of the folks I know from this group and also enjoy meeting those who will be new to me. I am excited for the creative solution as it feels like the best of both. It is not an anniversary celebration AND it is okay to speak to this special group of people about losing Dan and to hear their stories of love and loss. A space of acceptance, a place to be seen, a place of space to be myself, whatever that looks like on the fourth day of this particular July.

Photo courtesy of Pam Menegakis via unsplash.com

“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.”  – Mandy Hale

 

EVERYTHING that it is. Happy Anniversary, my love.

It is because of your love for me that I am learning how to make my way each day without you.

Stay close, though. I need you still.

Categories: Newly Widowed, Widowed, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones

About Kathie Neff

Kathie Neff was widowed on April 15, 2021. She and her beloved husband, Dan, were high school sweethearts and enjoyed dancing and riding horses together. They lived in gratitude, hope and forgiveness for 50 years and nine months when Dan passed quietly late at night, surrounded by their seven children who, with Kathie, were caring for him in their family home.

Dan and Kathie have been a part of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits International since its inception, as members of Michele Neff Hernandez’s cadre of helpers from the Neff family.

Kathie believes strongly in the strength and bond that is the gift of community and brings a heart of love for all who have been affected by death and dying.

Long live love. XO

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