Happy Anniversary, my love.
Just a couple of kids who fell in love and were married just out of high school. Who knew we’d spend 51+ years together on this earth?
A spark made it possible.
The spark dimmed at times, but it never went completely out.
We learned how to re-ignite it.
We had great teachers.
We gave up.
We started over.
We kept trying to love our best all the way to the end.
We were lucky.
Dan always said that the Fourth of July was the greatest day to get hitched.
His reasoning?
- He never forgot our anniversary…
- The whole country celebrated with fireworks…
- And he always had the day off….
In grief, the landscape of our feelings can change in an instant. As I write this I am filled with gratitude…while other moments I skate around the ring of despair. Impossible to predict, we learn to ride the waves of it as best we can.
Grief is what it is: unpredictable, surprising, erratic . . .
Finding happiness during grief requires some creativity. This year I’m spending Fourth of July with a group of widows and widowers who created a mini-holiday-oasis-space for folks like me. I am deeply fond of the folks I know from this group and also enjoy meeting those who will be new to me. I am excited for the creative solution as it feels like the best of both. It is not an anniversary celebration AND it is okay to speak to this special group of people about losing Dan and to hear their stories of love and loss. A space of acceptance, a place to be seen, a place of space to be myself, whatever that looks like on the fourth day of this particular July.
“Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.” – Mandy Hale
EVERYTHING that it is. Happy Anniversary, my love.
It is because of your love for me that I am learning how to make my way each day without you.
Stay close, though. I need you still.
