The day began with tears. Its brutally unfair were my thoughts. He should be here! Where is he? My stomach in tight knots I felt physically ill. He would have been 30. The day was spent with family. Reminiscing and sharing stories. Keeping busy, we laughed, we ate, and we supported each other. Sending balloons up into the clouds the physically sick…
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Rapid Fire
I’m not sure how long I will be able to continue to write here at Widow’s Voice. It breaks my heart to think that, and to write that, but various things are moving at a seriously rapid pace and I can barely keep up. I hired an attorney to walk me through the foreclosure. And I’ve already purged a lot of my stuff so hopefully that process…
A Different On the Road Again~
I’m on the road again. This time it was from Jersey, south to Maryland. Every piece of the road, every rest stop, every billboard, every bridge…all were familiar to me. Chuck and I drove this route our second year out as Happily Homeless, as we made our way to Key West for the first time. Our red Ford Escape and miles to go, absorbing the…
An Agreement with Death
Hey readers! I’m filling in for Mike today, as he had something come up and was unable to write. He’ll be back with us next Tuesday, so until then, I’m here to wander through some of my own thoughts of late and see what bubbles up… Mike and I have spent the past few months moving all my things to his place, as many of you know. After a…
Because of the Love that came Before
Yesterday was one of the most beautiful and hope-filled days I have been a part of since I began this entire widowed journey. We were in the woods, standing tall in the trees, three widowed people and a little girl who lost her mother. The setting itself was magic, and made even more-so when we heard of the significance of that place. For our…
Day Of Birth
Day of birth. A day to celebrate life, at least it use to be. The person I was prior to grief made a big fuss over birthdays. Now I only wish I could fast forward past the day all together. Escape the impending date somehow. He would have turned 30. I would have thrown a surprise party, filling our home with orange helium balloons, but more than…
All Is Not Lost
I lost the house this week. It’s ok. Really. I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. My own personal faith tells me, well, this is where God/the Universe wants to move you. So, here I go. You don’t have enough income, says the bank. You are a bunch of assholes who took that bailout and never considered how hard us little people worked to…
The Magic about Death
(Above) A traditional cemetery celebration on Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead). This time of year reminds me of just how important magic is. While life holds it’s own magic, death certainly holds an even more inexplicable magic all it’s own. Not in the sense of tricks and jokes, but in the sense of wonder and possibility. Now, I know…
He Was My Addiction
How did he pass away? It’s a question I have hated answering. Up until now I’ve avoided that question out of fear of being judged. I recently read an inspiring article by Elizabeth Ann titled “Dear Judgy Lady on Facebook”. It bought tears to my eyes and made me look at myself and think, where is my backbone! Elizabeth gave me the courage to…
Stepping out of the Vacuum
Hi all, I’m filling in for Kelley today since she is at Camp Widow Toronto. She’ll be back with us next week! Until then, I’m sitting down to write who-knows-what to you, on the fly. I suppose the first thing that comes to mind right now is community. It’s been on my mind all morning. Not only am I missing Camp Widow Toronto, and all the…
Walking Collages
No one thinks about the prospect of being widowed when they get married. You are starting a brand new life together and things look shiny and new. But think about it. Fifty per cent of all people who get married (and stay married) will ultimately be widowed. Eventually, one of them will die. When I exclaimed to a friend how surprised I was about…
My Birthday Victory Lap
This past week was my birthday. I turned 34. It might be the first time in my life I don’t really seem to have any particular feeling about turning an age. Usually I have a feeling of either excitement or resentment towards a new age. When I hit 30, I was so gloriously ready to leave my 20’s behind because they were, with the exception of…