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fear

I Cannot Be That Person

June 1, 2018 by Kelley Lynn Leave a Comment

It is Thursday evening, and in the morning, around 7:30am, my boyfriend of almost one year, will be having surgery. It’s not life-threatening surgery or anything, (hernia operation) but my “sudden death widow anxiety brain” is screaming at me otherwise. I have been thinking about all of the things that could go wrong, thinking about sudden death,…

Filed Under: Widowed Emotions Tagged With: Surgery, Hospitals, anxiety, widowhood and fear, fear

Book Anxiety

May 4, 2018 by Kelley Lynn Leave a Comment

So, after about 3 and a half years or so of writing and not writing and then writing again, and then the last 6 months or so of REALLY doing a TON of writing and not being able to look at computer screens anymore because my eyes hurt so bad – I am finally finished writing my book. It is FINISHED!!!!  I handed it over to my editor 2 days ago, and…

Filed Under: Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Therapy Tagged With: fear, writer, anxiety, widowed death anniversary, widowed milestones, widowhood and fear, worry, writing, authors

Fearing More Loss

April 15, 2018 by Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker Leave a Comment

Death has been on my mind a lot the past week, and I don’t even know why. There haven’t been any major milestones or triggers. No birthdays of people who are dead. No death anniversaries. No real explanation, yet I’ve been unable to shake these shadowy figures in my mind. The haunting things I know will one day happen to more people I love.

Filed Under: Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous Tagged With: fear, new loss, sarah treanor, loss, grief, triggers, what if

Off Kilter

January 8, 2018 by Staci Sulin Leave a Comment

My memories of Mike echo off the walls of the house, yet the silence in my home is deafening.  Everything is quiet now.  Death makes your whole world go silent.  I think this is by design.  We need this noiseless environment and solitude to contemplate how we will re-create ourselves.  As we do the work of re-defining our identity we need to…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous Tagged With: widowhood, Living, fear, grieving, widow, scared, hope, blog, love, potential, StaciSulin, buildyourwingsonthewaydown, grief, life, Change

I Shouldn’t Have Come Alone

October 23, 2017 by Wendy Saint-Onge Leave a Comment

As I write this I have just pulled into the parking lot at the office of my urologist, Dr A. I have parked in stall number 61 and I find myself frozen in the drivers seat of my car as unwanted memories come flooding back into my brain. I remember the day I pulled into this parking lot with Ben. I don’t recall what stall number we parked in that…

Filed Under: Widowed Memories, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: memories, fear, wendy saint-onge, Ben The Titan, Existing

Fear & Appreciation

September 10, 2017 by Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker Leave a Comment

For whatever reason, today, I have this fear that something horrible is going to happen, or that something horrible IS happening that I don’t know about. It may be all the horrible stuff going on with hurricanes and now earthquakes… the edginess that all of that upheaval in so many people’s lives. The anxiety that I had just a few weeks ago…

Filed Under: Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: grief, coping, fear, new loss, appreciating today, sarah treanor, loss

One Month Till One Year

November 5, 2016 by Kaiti Wallace Leave a Comment

One month till one year, it’s difficult to find the words. Disbelief sums it up well. Disbelief that only one year ago we were living out our dreams together, both so insanely happy and in love. Never could I have imagined our happiness was just a mere month from being ripped away. Its eleven months today. On this day last year he was at work and…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: widow, grief, anniversary, pain, fear, ptsd, young widow, anxiety, memories, widowed

An Agreement with Death

October 11, 2016 by Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker Leave a Comment

Hey readers! I’m filling in for Mike today, as he had something come up and was unable to write. He’ll be back with us next Tuesday, so until then, I’m here to wander through some of my own thoughts of late and see what bubbles up… Mike and I have spent the past few months moving all my things to his place, as many of you know. After a…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous Tagged With: widow, bereavement, sarah treanor, widow remarrying, loss, agreement, grief, new love, death, new partner, New Beginnings, fear, acceptance, loving again

Collective Grief

September 15, 2016 by Stephanie Vendrell Leave a Comment

15 years ago today, as I type this, Mike and I were awakened sometime after 3 AM Hawaii time by a phone call. In those days it was still landlines, so Mike groggily stumbled into the living room to answer it, and came back and woke me, handing me the phone, and saying, it’s your mom, I think there was a hurricane or something.   The house where…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed Emotions, Widowed Suddenly Tagged With: fear, stephanie vendrell, suddenly widowed, 9/11, collective grief, young widow, widowed, widow, grief

No Reason to Fear

July 24, 2016 by Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker Leave a Comment

Ever since that horrible day 4 years ago, I have been shoved into every imaginable situation of discomfort. Just like all of you. I’ve been thrust into an oblivion… a war zone of emotions… trying to fight my way through without even knowing which direction I am fighting towards. Fighting in the dark. Wandering. Scared. Trying to survive.

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Emotions Tagged With: loss, facing fears, grief, do what scares you, lessons, widowhood, death, risk, growth, learning, taking risks, widow, fear, sarah treanor, writer

Changing the Walls

June 5, 2016 by Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker Leave a Comment

Yesterday, we painted a wall. To me, this was no ordinary wall, this was the last major wall in the downstairs of Mike’s house to change since Megan died. Now, when you look through the living room, dining and kitchen, all of it has a totally new color scheme from when she was living. Which leads me to talk about a very touchy aspect of…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous Tagged With: conquering fears, death, moving forward, embracing life, new life, new relationships, widow, fear, sarah treanor, making plans, loss, facing, grief, confronting, living on, painting walls, taking chances

Making Plans Anyway

May 29, 2016 by Sarah Treanor and Mike Welker Leave a Comment

This morning I’m sitting some fifteen feet up in the air surrounded by woods, near the northern border of Arkansas, and it seems no accident that the book I brought with me to read is titled “The Gifts of Imperfection”. A few days ago, Mike and I made the 14 hour drive down to Eureka Springs. Why? To stay in a treehouse cottage, which has always…

Filed Under: Widowed, Widowed and Healing, Widowed and New Love, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Emotions, Miscellaneous Tagged With: living on, taking chances, death, moving forward, embracing life, new life, milestones, new relationships, widow, fear, sarah treanor, making plans, loss, facing, grief, confronting

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