While writing this blog, I was forced to revisit and relive more than just my widowed walk. I dove back in time through many memories I had forgotten or hidden. In reflecting back, how ironic was it that I rushed through the four years of high school and the four years of college only now […]
Widowed Memories
Sneaky Grief
Information and advice for grieving survivors concerning “grief triggers” is both abundant and easy to find. However, much of the stuff I have seen seems directed to teaching how one can brace against the effects of grief, focusing on such major milestones as birthdays, anniversaries, holiday celebrations and the like. Considering my own case, as […]
Bridging the Distance
It’s been one year, five months and five days since you left— 523 days— 12,576 hours 40 minutes— I am keenly aware of your physical absence today, my love. I’m in the city of Newport Beach—the air is cool. The beach out of view. Of many options on the Southern California coast, Newport Beach was […]
Medical Decisions
There have been countless times since Tony died that something has happened, and I just want to call him. I’ll want to share some bit of news with him, seek his advice, or just to vent. I didn’t have the option to keep his phone on since his job paid for it. Even though it’s […]
Widowed Wealth of Words
This week has been a huge transition in my life. I retired from my 23 year career to focus on my relationship and the business I own. I can work from anywhere which is giving me much more time to enjoy time. Of course, big transitions have change and responsibility. I’m organizing my own healthcare, […]
Mostly Sweet
Bittersweet Memories Camp Widow’s Pop-Up in Denver was a great success. SO MANY of the yellow name tags which indicate first time campers. Some drove from Mississippi, Texas, and even New York, for this “taste” of what Camp Widow offers. It was a privilege to welcome those waiting in line at the registration table–unsure of […]
Take Me to Church
Photos my own, taken at the Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Geneva, Switzerland Yesterday, unusually, I went to church. Twice. And I spoke. From the pulpit. Yes – really. I had been invited – some six or more months ago – to speak at the Holy Trinity Church in Geneva, an Anglican church. As often […]
Revisiting My Tears
Earlier this week I sat down at the computer, intending to pound out an article about Labor Day being the unofficial end of Summer, but could not get past the vision I was having of Lee: I’m watching her and just then she opens those soft and large brown eyes I’d grown to love and […]
Grief and Loss Witnessed From Further Out
Main image by Sean Oulashin on Unsplash As so often when I sit down to write, my starting point could be one of so many. My ending point could be one of so many. And where I go in between could be many many many directions. One starting point could be the importance of mentors, […]
Stop Rushing Towards The Grief
I distinctly remember being in the 5th grade and saying: “Just 7 more years until I graduate. Then it’s college and dolphin training. Hang in there Bryan, it’s just 7 more years.” I wanted to be free of the bullying and I wanted my dream job, so I wished for time to tick by faster. […]
Of God and Grief
40 days and 40 nights. Sometimes that’s how grief has felt along this journey. No one quite understands the impact that first grief flood has on you until you find your floating around and all the land is gone. Nothing but a horizon. You feel helpless, alone and lost. It has taken lots of navigating […]
happy birthday babe
in relation to the years, i feel small marking the memories. i remember when you taught me to light the oven in our first O’Keefe & Merritt stove–light the match, hold the flame to the small hole at the bottom of the oven, turn on the gas. i thought i might blow up the house […]