This is our second Christmas without Tony but despite that, it was a first of sorts. For our first Christmas without him, I couldn’t bear the thought to be in town. I didn’t want to feel forced to participate in the merriment. The thought of his empty place and the looks of condolence at all […]
Widowed Memories
Ruff Times and Holidays
“The presence and companionship of dogs, the observation of their playful tactics has helped patients on their way back to normal thinking and living.” Captain Wm. Lewis Judy,Founder of National Dog Week (1928) and long time publisher of Dog World Magazine. I realized the other day that as the Saturday Widow’s Voice poster I’d be […]
Some emails jump out and punch me
Photo of Julia by one of her school friends I needed to find an email I knew would be in my inbox somewhere, and so typed in two Christian names that I figured would result in what I was looking for. The email I was hunting for showed up, but so did this one. I […]
Holiday Adaptations
In the fall of 2020, my late husband purchased the Christmas tree of his dreams at a Lowes in Kingsland, GA. After a challenging year Rich looked forward to the joy of the holiday season he’d always loved. We purchased that tree on a very warm southern September day. We’d moved from New Jersey to […]
In Between
and Betwixt. I’m ill with Covid. Illness is one of those things; a part of life; an activity of the living. In between and betwixt countless other dailies that are just for me now. Tomorrow is back again already. Trying to stay in the now. And still keep up as […]
Songbird
Thats how I feel. Blah. For the past couple of months or so, my body feels blah and tired and just drained, I guess. I’ve been having trouble getting out emotions. Its weird, but I got really sad about the death of Fleetwood Mac’s Christine McVie. Its not like I know her personally or anything. […]
Dancing with the Scars
In early December of last year, a little peaches and cream ball of fluff entered my lonely life at just the “write time”. The following appeared in Ruff Drafts, the official newsletter of the Dog Writers Association of America (DWAA) an organization on which I serve as a Board Member. It’s a longer read than […]
Some Holidays are Better Than Others
One of the most difficult parts of the mourning process many widowed people experience is the loss of future occasions including holidays and anniversaries. We find ourselves listening to long-time married friends, family members and colleagues as they speak glowingly of their trips and celebrations of decades spent in togetherness. While we are truly happy […]
Missing
It began with a need for a garment bag the kind from the cleaners with its pre-slit hole for the hanger — dry cleaners size — with child safety warning included. I doubted I had one but went into my closet searching for a stray lingering on the closet rod. I notice a […]
Waters of Significance
In last Saturday’s post, I shared the continuing process of spreading my late husband’s cremains throughout multiple watery locations. Choosing these meaningful places for this journey has been an important step for me, and others, in the mourning progress and honoring Rich as he’d wished to be. As a watery theme had run […]
For once, the tears weren’t (only) mine
Main Image by Zac Ong on Unsplash Last Sunday I completed a 20 km running event. My first event of that distance (or so) in three years. I wrote about the run’s run-up last week. I have so often been on the verge of tears at various points in long runs – whether they are […]
“Urning” Places in the Heart
Rich passed on a Thursday. By Friday morning it became apparent that I had to make final arrangements for him. Throughout nearly 30 years together, Rich and I had attended many funerals and services for friends and family members. “Please don’t ever have one of those for me,” he’d commented on numerous occasions after attending […]