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Waters of Significance

Posted on: November 19, 2022 | Posted by: Lisa Begin-Kruysman

 

In last Saturday’s post, I shared the continuing process of spreading my late husband’s cremains throughout multiple watery locations. Choosing these meaningful places for this journey has been an important step for me, and others, in the mourning progress and honoring Rich as he’d wished to be.  

As a watery theme had run through our time spent together, I’ve chosen these locations with a purpose. Creeks, rivers, bays and the ocean were a significant backdrop for our relationship.

Rich was living in the town of Brielle near the Manasquan River at the New Jersey Shore when we’d met. Not long after, we were married on a beautiful paddle boat called the River Belle that is docked in Brielle, NJ, the town where we also shared our first living space.  

Our wedding took place on a late September day that started out warm and cloudy. In fact, there was a brief shower during the onboard service, with the sun appearing just as we took our first kiss as husband and wife. The reverend took credit for that!

Early in our marriage, Rich received his long-lost “baby book” containing photos and fun facts about his childhood. One entry told of how Rich’s first picnic as an infant was on the banks of the Metedeconk River in Ocean County, NJ, not far from the first home we’d purchase as a couple across from the banks of the Beaver Dam Creek. The Metedeconk River is one upon which we’d spend many summer hours boating and crabbing decades later.  

That river’s water flows into the Barnegat Bay, the first place on which Rich’s cremains were spread. During the course of our marriage, we’d owned three boats, all of which cruised and sailed along this bay for many summer seasons. On the waters of that bay, we crabbed and clammed and spent happy times with friends and family.

Sloop ‘Gotcha Last, our 28’ O’Day.

When we moved to the historic sleepy town of St. Marys, Georgia, in 2020, Rich was immediately drawn to the waters of the St. Marys River. He spent a lot of time getting to know the locals at a small bait and supply shop along that river. One day he’d asked if he could be a local and was informed that, yes, he could if he’d lose that, “Damn Yankee accent!” 

Recently I posted about how with the help of some new friends, a portion of Rich’s ashes melded with the waters of the St. Marys River, near a pier where he often crabbed or fished with differing degrees of success. 

Fishing Pier, St. Marys, GA

This winter, my hope is to travel down to the Florida Keys, an idyllic location that holds a very special place in my memories of Rich. We’d honeymooned on Hawks Cay, my first visit to the Keys. Like Rich had so long ago, I also fell in love with the entire length of those islands, each beautiful and unique in its own way. During the course of over ten years, we’d rented several homes on Big Pine Key, Islamorada, Key Colony Beach and Caloosa Cove. 

Mile Marker 88, Islamorada, FL Keys

Each key holds such a special and significant place in my heart. Just as my recent trip back to New Jersey was filled with sweet memories of shared watery places, these visits will always be bittersweet. The only way to move forward is to create new ones and forge paths to a hopeful future. 

Sunset near Caloosa Cover, FL Keys

“So much water moving underneath the bridge; Let the water come and carry us away.” Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young

Thanks for reading. Have a great week and enjoy the start of the special holiday season upon us.

Categories: Widowed Memories, Widowed and Healing, Widowed Anniversaries, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Milestones, Widowed Therapy, Miscellaneous

About Lisa Begin-Kruysman

Originally from New Jersey, artist/writer/blogger Lisa Begin-Kruysman has called Southeast Georgia her home for the past two and a half years. It was during a road trip last October, when she and her husband Rich were returning south after celebrating their 25th Wedding Anniversary, that he became ill, passing just four weeks later. The author of several books, including Dog's Best Friend (McFarland & Co. 2014) mostly inspired by the special human-canine bond, Lisa serves on the Board of Directors for the Dog Writers Association of America and now returns to blogging posting for Widow's Voice with the intention of sharing her personal experience of widowhood with those who know the struggles first-hand and to perhaps help those who struggle to understand the daily challenges facing those who've lost a spouse or significant other.

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