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Missing

Posted on: November 22, 2022 | Posted by: Kathie Neff

It began with a need for a garment bag

the kind from the cleaners

with its pre-slit hole for the hanger

— dry cleaners size —

with child safety warning included.

 

I doubted I had one

but went into my closet

searching for

a stray

lingering

on the closet rod.

 

I notice a dress,

the one I wore

to our granddaughter’s wedding,

— the maroon dress

that went to the cleaners shortly after

— hanging in the closet–

with no occasion to call it forth

since then.

 

I am surprised to find you there.

 

Behind my dress

–in the same

clear

garment

bag–

there

you

are.

 

Memories flow.

 

It’s not just

when I am consciously

missing

you

that I have

a keen awareness

of you-being-missing.

 

Sometimes

it is like this.

 

You surprise me

through

“footprints”

you’ve

left

behind.

 

I feel your presence

in

memory.

 

Milliseconds

later,

realization

dawns.

 

Another holiday season

without

you.

 

Rose colored matching man's shirt and a woman's dress

 

On the doorstep

of our second Thanksgiving

apart

there you are.

 

clean and starched.

 

Precious

aroma

of

you

missing.

 

A

heart

full

of

memories

prove once again . . .

 

how

I

miss

you,

my love.

 

Oh

how

I

miss

you . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

Categories: Widowed, Newly Widowed, Widowed Memories, Widowed Holidays, Widowed Signs from Loved One

About Kathie Neff

Kathie Neff was widowed on April 15, 2021. She and her beloved husband, Dan, were high school sweethearts and enjoyed dancing and riding horses together. They lived in gratitude, hope and forgiveness for 50 years and nine months when Dan passed quietly late at night, surrounded by their seven children who, with Kathie, were caring for him in their family home.

Dan and Kathie have been a part of Camp Widow and Soaring Spirits International since its inception, as members of Michele Neff Hernandez’s cadre of helpers from the Neff family.

Kathie believes strongly in the strength and bond that is the gift of community and brings a heart of love for all who have been affected by death and dying.

Long live love. XO

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