It’s that time of year when the kids go back to school, the schedule fills up and the days are filled with more structure. When I look back on our ‘before’ life, I find it surreal that this is the second year Tony is missing this milestone. This is the second year I have had […]
Widowed Memories
Taking Flight
As I pause and look at my life now, I can’t help but be grateful for everything that has been gifted to me, especially the love I’m surrounded by now. This week I truly wanted to see how far I have come so I looked back to my blog post 2 years ago. As I read […]
You’re Never Too Old To Learn Something New
At this stage of my life, giving back to my community seems to me a very good idea. But I wonder whether I would feel this way today had Lee not died. I tend to doubt it. Lee and I loved to spend time together. We had not only planned, but were fast approaching, what […]
All in Grief Time
After 23 years of effort, I’m leaving the field of animal care. I’m turning in my whistle and taking off my watch. A career with animals I dreamed to hold as a kid. Biology degree with minors in chemistry and behavioral psychology. I poured my heart, mind and passion into competing for minimum wage all […]
“Worse Things Happen At Sea”
Photos my own and a scan from my dad Growing up in Brussels in the 1970s and 1980s, there were a couple of sea-related sayings that were oft used in our family. Not that we lived close to the sea. Though we did cross the English Channel and the North Sea a few times a […]
Grief Gardener
I was overwhelmed with the immense inheritance of isolation that bereavement bestowed upon me. The biggest question keeping me from moving forward was: “Where do I even begin?” Analysis paralysis when all things seem unorganized, depression dust devils making the barren widowed wasteland look impossible. How do I even start? This week we had the […]
Grief and Gratitude
It’s been over two years since I wrote the following blog. We carry grief like an autoimmune issue. It’s always going to be part of us and can flare up. I constantly look back at where I was to remind me of what I’ve grown through. Life has blessed me with a second chance and […]
The Grief Hangover
My widowed journey has been unique. The timeline delt to me kept me four years from the closure of Clayton’s funeral. This week has felt different, lighter but emotionally dizzy. Most of us deal with all the immediate emotional events within weeks but life decided to stretch mine out and this week I finally feel […]
But Still…
I’ve been going nuts with the business of living ever since I returned home on Sunday, following my final few days at Deer Tick Manor. As I a prepare tonight’s impromptu cookout for some neighbors, I’m afraid that this week’s blog offering has less meat on the bone than is typical. *** As for my […]
Reasons to, Reasons not to
Images my own, July 2022 – Lake Geneva In a couple of days, I hope to swim across Lake Geneva at its widest point – Lausanne to Evian. 13 km. A smidge over 8 miles. As the crow flies. And I am neither a crow, nor am I flying. Instead, the wind seems to be […]
Growing Through Grief with Gratitude
Yesterday I felt like I hit the grief guardrail at 75 miles an hour. I knew it was coming and I knew I couldn’t turn fast enough. It was emotionally inevitable and, as much as I wanted to avoid it, I also have been needing it. It was an intimate group of family and friends […]
Farewell Deer Tick Manor
Regular readers by now will be familiar with Deer Tick Manor, the semi-rural property that Lee and I acquired almost 20 years ago. On July 18th, I bid farewell to Deer Tick. By late afternoon on that date, the place should have new owners, who may call it by any name they wish. To help […]