Main image by Rowan Heuvel on Unsplash In English, when we miss our homeland, we say, “I feel homesick”. In French, when we miss our homeland, we say, “J’ai le mal du pays”. Close enough, but not quite the same. Taken literally, the English version seems just to be about missing one’s “home” (parents, family, […]
Widowed Holidays
Shamrock Reflections
When you pick your wedding date, you never imagine that day could one day bring heartache. All the focus is on the celebration and the happy life you are building together. It never even crosses your mind that one of you could be left standing alone. Tony and I would have been married 15 years […]
My Widow Mantra
I was going to start with an introduction post as my first post, but I think you’ll get to know me in time. Plus, I don’t think I can write a full-on intro post without it feeling like I’m writing another eulogy, so here goes something different. I have never been a self-help, New Year’s […]
Sharing A Smile
I miss his smile. It was a gift he had share with me to hold in my memories. It’s been almost four years since I saw him smile in person. Sometimes I forget to remember those moments because he was so sick near the end that he didn’t have the energy to smile. It wouldn’t […]
Happy Trails
Socks. Check! Clean underwear. Check! Toothbrush. Check! Covid vaccination card. Check! I am looking over my king size bed, which at this moment is completely covered by a wide assortment of travel items, ranging from my telescoping hiking stick to extra eyeglasses. I spot health-related items, toiletries, a bright red headband, gym shorts, one custom […]
Tiger, Tiger, Burning Bright . . .
. . . in the 2022 Lunar New Year The float makers in Singapore made a family of Tigers to represent the Year of the Tiger this year. That way all those born in the year of the Tiger are represented, no matter age, gender, and no matter their status in life. Or in death. […]
One of the Best Things
Photos my own these past days So Christmas and New Year have been okay. Better than okay. Moments that were really hard, of course; but more moments that have been really enjoyable. Ben and Megan came back from the Netherlands where they study, and stayed largely at home while they were here. Medjool went back […]
“Happy” New Year?
Well, somehow tomorrow marks a new year. If I am being honest, I do not feel cheery or happy with the ring of the new year. I feel like 2021 was just a year of surviving and getting by. My dad’s health took a turn in late December 2020 and since then he has needed 24/7 […]
A Very Covid Christmas
I celebrated Thanksgiving with Robyn and her brood, but assured Lee’s brother, Paul, that I would be celebrating Christmas with him and his family. Neither Robyn nor I celebrate Christmas as a matter of faith, but it’s an important holiday for Paul just as it was an important holiday for Lee. Sharing this holiday with […]
A STRONG PRESENCE
. . . and a Christmas Story The longer I live the more I realize how different we are as humans. What matters to one is barely a blip on the radar screen to another. What one treasures can be opposite of what another would give their life to protect. My entire life, as long […]
The Magic of the Season
I remember the magic of the holidays when I was younger. Time went by at a much slower pace waiting for that one special night followed by a day of jolly and cheer. Christmas Eve we would spend with my mom’s side of the family surrounded by aunts, uncle, cousins and grandparents. Each year my […]
Holidays, Weddings, Pandemics, Oh My
December is always so busy and it seems generally stressful for every human. With my grief in the mix, it is anxiety-filled with moments of deep sadness and holiday blues. Now add caregiving for my dad with Parkinson’s and dementia. Plus, don’t forget a pandemic! And, this weekend I have a wedding to attend. My […]