I need to see new things. And, also, see the same things – somewhere else. I need to stand on different street corners. And, walk roads that lead to new people and places. I need to breathe the air – somewhere else. Anywhere else. I feel like I am holding my breath, Living here in […]
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My Road to Return
I have been having a near death experience. You know, where your life flashes in front of you, all the memories, sights, sounds and smells. That rewind reminder, which puts your whole past into a present perspective. No, there wasn’t an accident or anything sudden, my near death experience has been almost undetectable. How so? […]
Grief is WORK
Grief is time-consuming. Energy-consuming. Sometimes, it is all-consuming. Ok, so after the paperwork and ceremony of grief, there’s the therapy, the books, the support groups, etc. All hard work. But, then there’s this part that doesn’t feel like work necessarily, but it takes up all of your brain space and more importantly your TIME. Do […]
The Box (Part Two)
Lee kept her wedding box at the top of her closet, which I had been in the process of reclaiming from her when I found it. I say her wedding box because she was not keeping it for our mutual benefit. I did not know it existed. I opened the lid and looked inside the […]
See You Down the Road~
To all of you, My community here… To Michele Neff Hernandez, for responding to the email I sent her after reading a Widows Voice blog in my newsfeed and deciding that I wanted to be one of the weekly writers. She called me to get acquainted, and then offered me Wednesday’s space to voice my […]
Disappointed in the Spirit World
Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash I want to believe in the Spirit world. I want to believe and trust in Mediums. I do believe in the Spirit world. And I do believe and trust in Mediums. Mostly. And yet… I can’t help but feel disappointed. Where were Mike’s and Julia’s spirits on a small […]
Knock off Life
The problem is, I have no idea what or who will help me feel this Soul fulfillment that I long for. It has been 4.6 years since I have felt truly content and I do not know when a sense of peace will ever return to me.
Waiting….
Lately it feels as if my life is in a constant state of waiting. Waiting until my financial situation is finally/ever/slightly better before I can afford to buy myself necessary items x,y,and z… Waiting until the real estate market calms the hell down some so that we can maybe get one of our many offers […]
Finding Change
I’ve written about finding coins before and there was a long time I didn’t find any. This week it seemed everywhere I turned there was a penny. I think I found 8 total and 3 in just one day. They go in my pocket, I forget until later and it’s like I’ve found them all […]
Part of my story.
In the year right after Boris died, I was a bit socially withdrawn–I mostly spent time one-on-one with people, rather than in groups. And all of the people I spent time with knew me very well and also knew Boris and about his loss. I didn’t really have to tell my story to anyone. I […]
The Box (Part 1)
It was inevitable that I would start to reclaim for myself spaces we used to share, but then I procrastinate or stop short of finishing the task. Yes, it’s true that within hours of Lee’s death, in anger I had exorcised from our home numerous items, including the bottles and boxes containing her medicines, the […]
Navigating New Terrain
Photos my own I just re-read last week’s post to see if I had mentioned “Orienteering” and saw that – oddly – I hadn’t. However it was a feature underlying that piece of writing. Orienteering is where I had been with my parents, in Leucate, when I came across “Ed’s Feather” on 22nd May. Orienteering […]