Kelley wasn’t able to post today, so we thought we’d share this post that she wrote back in 2017. Enjoy! The definition of the word “duality” is as follows: 1. the quality or condition of being dual 2. an instance of opposition or contrast between two concepts or two aspects of something; a dualism. “the […]
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Living Forward
We can not shed our grief like I had hoped early on. Instead, we must carefully and tenderly absorb it into our bones. Grief is in the air you breath, in swirls around in your coffee, it is in the sunshine that warms your shoulders, and it lingers in your bathwater. You can not escape grief; I now realize that this isn’t possible. And, it is not the goal. It never was.
Facing Future Fears: An Open Letter to Myself
Dear Bryan, I think it’s time for us to talk a bit about the fears found since Clayton passed. These thoughts and widowed worries have actually compounded and worsened seasons of our grief. They have been cyclical and fed into one another. Try as I might to break these cycles sooner, I couldn’t and I’m […]
I need him to be here.
The photo on this post is of Boris and my dad, Steve. It was taken less than a month before Boris died. My dad looks so different now. He is probably 50 pounds lighter now. At that time, my dad didn’t need a walker as he does now. He could be left alone for at […]
Autumn Leaves
This week’s post will have to be short. I prepare to leave for Deer Tick Manor on Thursday night. On Friday I will help direct the setup for Saturday’s long overdue celebration of Lee’s life. I recently have spent more time attending to professional matters than at any time this Summer. And before I depart, […]
131 Days
To My Dearest Dan, It has been one hundred thirty-one days since you died and it feels so much longer. It feels as if you are watching me from afar and also, somehow, participating daily in my life with your energy. When I call on you I especially feel you near, although you show up […]
Just how do we ever do this?
Image by Sarah Treanor on www.streanor.com This is my 104th piece of writing for Soaring Spirits International, which means I have been writing here for exactly 2 years. A piece a week. And sometimes I write more frequently on my own personal blogsite. I had been widowed for over two years, and had lost my […]
Marry Me (2021 version)
Now, today, August 20th, 2021 I no longer want to be the wife of a dead man. I want to live my life and my life no longer physically includes my dead fiance.
Life is for the living.
Mike died.
I did not; and I will be damned if his wife slowly dies here mourning him.
The best way I can honor Mike is to life a big, beautiful life. So, that is what I plan to do.
Hurricane Winds
So, right now, in Massachusetts, we are experiencing remnants and pieces of Hurricane Henri. Its just getting started, and we are set to have high winds and torrential downpours today and into Monday. If we get it as strong as they are saying we will, it will be the first storm categorized as a hurricane […]
The Grief Thread
“I’m only hanging on by a thread.” Such a common phrase we use to express that we are in a place which scares us regardless of the reason for our grief grip. I’ve said that phrase many times in life. I’ve said it when I was sick of being bullied in school. I said it […]
Countdown
The final countdown is begun. On August 28 we will gather at Deer Tick Manor to celebrate Lee’s life. This pandemic-delayed event is long overdue. Our celebration will be held outside on the grounds, so it is full speed ahead despite the recent surge in Covid cases and despite Deer Tick being located firmly within […]
Photographs and Memories
Pieces of You Photographs and memories All the love you gave to me Somehow it just can’t be true That’s all I’ve left of you In the midst of meal prep, sorting through items while seeking the right tool in a kitchen drawer, I saw a blackened, overused kitchen fork. It immediately took me to […]