As I pause and look at my life now, I can’t help but be grateful for everything that has been gifted to me, especially the love I’m surrounded by now. This week I truly wanted to see how far I have come so I looked back to my blog post 2 years ago. As I read […]
Widowed Milestones
A Guest House – A Birthday –
and Two Questions How is it possible that Dan’s birthday–the second since his death–is already coming up eleven days from now? Surreal. As a mom of seven, I am used to the arrival of ideas from one or another of my children. How to accomplish one solution or another…what flourishes to add–or ways to contain–an […]
All in Grief Time
After 23 years of effort, I’m leaving the field of animal care. I’m turning in my whistle and taking off my watch. A career with animals I dreamed to hold as a kid. Biology degree with minors in chemistry and behavioral psychology. I poured my heart, mind and passion into competing for minimum wage all […]
Yay!
For All of Us! We take off our wedding rings… (or) We leave them on… (or) We wear our ring on our neck… We don’t believe in an after-life… (or) We believe our partner is near and talk to our person every day…. (or) We find meaning in places our person has been […]
Quiet Nights
I don’t sit alone very often. I could tell you it’s because I have 3 kids at home that I’m a solo parent to, but I think I’d be lying. The real reason I don’t sit alone is because I don’t like to, and I don’t want to. Friday night, I found myself sitting outside […]
Grief Gardener
I was overwhelmed with the immense inheritance of isolation that bereavement bestowed upon me. The biggest question keeping me from moving forward was: “Where do I even begin?” Analysis paralysis when all things seem unorganized, depression dust devils making the barren widowed wasteland look impossible. How do I even start? This week we had the […]
Grief and Gratitude
It’s been over two years since I wrote the following blog. We carry grief like an autoimmune issue. It’s always going to be part of us and can flare up. I constantly look back at where I was to remind me of what I’ve grown through. Life has blessed me with a second chance and […]
Counting Trees While Swimming
Main Image by Laura Smetsers on Unsplash Yesterday I attempted to swim across Lac Léman/Lake Geneva at its widest point – Lausanne on the north shore, in Switzerland, to Evian, famed for its ubiquitous spring water, in France, on the south. It’s 13 km as the crow flies. And even when the weather is impeccable […]
The Grief Hangover
My widowed journey has been unique. The timeline delt to me kept me four years from the closure of Clayton’s funeral. This week has felt different, lighter but emotionally dizzy. Most of us deal with all the immediate emotional events within weeks but life decided to stretch mine out and this week I finally feel […]
Camp Widow San Diego 2022
Gratitude, Respect, and Wonder Camp Widow is a wrap and the value of storytelling is strong in my being. Images are vivid in my mind. I’m remembering the Well Loved photos of our persons who are honored front-and-center throughout the entire event. I’m thinking about the messages of compassion, help, and hope which met us […]
Reasons to, Reasons not to
Images my own, July 2022 – Lake Geneva In a couple of days, I hope to swim across Lake Geneva at its widest point – Lausanne to Evian. 13 km. A smidge over 8 miles. As the crow flies. And I am neither a crow, nor am I flying. Instead, the wind seems to be […]
Growing Through Grief with Gratitude
Yesterday I felt like I hit the grief guardrail at 75 miles an hour. I knew it was coming and I knew I couldn’t turn fast enough. It was emotionally inevitable and, as much as I wanted to avoid it, I also have been needing it. It was an intimate group of family and friends […]