Well, tomorrow I turn 30. A new decade for me. One where Boris will never physically be present. I am struggling with that. Here’s what you should know about me: I am a planner. I love to make lists and keep a detailed calendar. Without it, things feel too uncertain and too messy. Before Boris […]
Some may love going out to eat alone but for me it is emotional. Even waiting for takeout can be tough. Grabbing dinner this week, I sat at the bar and got an awkward look from one group. I’m sure it was nothing but that doesn’t mean my feelings weren’t valid. Whatever it was that […]
So last night my mom and dad expressed concern about us gathering for Christmas, and also New Years Day dinner that Nick and I have planned at our place. Since my parents already had covid, they are extra concerned. My mom keeps saying “I dont want to end up back in that hospital.” She feels […]
“In the Lakota tradition, a person who is grieving is considered most waken, most holy.”
It is not an alien concept. In many religions and belief systems (Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc.), the bereaved are held in high regard and “revered” for a certain length of time, but what happens when that time is “over?”
Rock me gently, Swaying to and fro. Let me feel your strength around me and The living might of your power Gather me into you So that I am consumed and immersed and suffused Grant me memory of all I had, and tenacity to hold steadfast To what I know to be truth everlasting. Bless […]
The notion of categories has come up for me a few times these past days and weeks. Categories and rating scales. I am far from being an expert in measurement but I have designed myriad surveys in my professional decades, and even contributed to psychometric tools where, really, accurate measurement has to be a tad […]
I have learned that grief evolves. It changes with time and hard work. The changes are not always linear, but they do occur. Grief is not everlasting, if you don’t want it to be. There is a new life to be found, if you look for it. There is opportunities to find small moments of joy if you are open to it. If you aren’t, then that is a choice too. But, that choice is wrongminded for me. I have life. I didn’t die. So, to honor Mike, I will continue to try to live the best life I can. Life has been denied to him, but it is still available to me – my birthday reminds me of this.
Hi, everyone. First of all, thank you to Sarah and Mike for the warm welcome. I know that your words have been so meaningful and helpful to so many people. I am so honored to have the opportunity to be a part of Widow’s Voice. There are so many reasons why this means so much […]
The first thing I learned to do when Clayton passed away was say “No”. I said no to getting out of bed, no to eating, no to showering, no to the gym. No was the safest place I could hide myself. Saying no stopped the world and that is just where I wanted to be. […]
So yesterday was Thanksgiving. The holiday this year , for most of us, is already forever changed because of our losses. In my case, Thanksgiving was my late husband Don’s very favorite holiday. He used to say “apple pie, things with gravy, and football – whats not to love?” He also loved that you didnt […]
It is my hope that one day, in the very-distant future, I will look back and see how far I have come and be proud of myself and my resilience. And when it comes time to close my eyes for the last time, I hope to be listening to music, because if all of my feelings of gratitude and positivity were to be encapsulated in one word, I think I would choose music.
The holidays. Sometimes “The Holidays”. Tra la la la la. In the midst of grief, the words loom large. They loom large even when it isn’t about intense grief but just…eh. THE HOLIDAYS. Tra la frickin’ la. I just spent the last month grinching out to my kids about my feelings regarding the holidays. No […]
