Main image by Eric Mohr on Unsplash 18 September 2021 (my mum’s 82nd birthday. And what would have been her twin, Janet’s, my aunt’s, 82nd birthday too) Many years ago, my brilliant childhood bestie, Nathalie, said of Influencing (in organisations), “To influence, you must be willing to be influenced by the other”. I don’t remember […]
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Funeral Thoughts
This will be a fairly short post today. We have been slowly moving into our new home, dealing with endless boxes and “stuff”, and I am exhausted. Also, last week, my husband Nick’s nephew Jimmy died. He was 41 years old, and he struggled with a lifelong battle of addiction. Yesterday we drove an hour […]
Grief Gaps
Love and loss are the great unifiers. Later in life the family seems to only get together for weddings and funerals. The most interesting part of my grief is how separated and alone I felt even though I was surrounded by love and support. I was kept separate from the rest of life by the […]
Inside Jokes.
I miss inside jokes. And little things that only Boris would “get”. I was watching a Netflix movie several months ago, Desperados, and one of the main characters (a widower) says something about missing the “dinner party glance” with his late wife. That connection where you just give each other a “look” because you both […]
Al and Lee
My friend Al, pictured above, and I met as seniors in high school. Al was a charter member of our imaginary rock group the Frazier Thomas Band. Indeed, he was the imaginary producer of our first imaginary record album. Back in high school, my smart-ass first impression of Al had been, here is a guy […]
Traveling in the Land of Grief
One hundred and fifty two days ago my beloved husband transitioned into death. In that time I have learned that the reality of death and grief is something that cannot be understood unless you are in it. I thought I knew something of it, having experienced other loved ones passing. I was wrong. The photo […]
9/11 Memories, Appreciation and Honouring
Written on 11 September 2021 Main image by Jesper Blijdestein on Unsplash 9/11. Nine-Eleven trips off the tongue. It means September 11th 2001. Even to Brits, who would otherwise say 11th of September (and write 11/9), there’s no misunderstanding what 9/11 means. Anyone over a certain again remembers what they were doing on 11th September […]
Content
4.10 years later, I am content, happy and joy filled AND I continue to miss Mike. This is something I will do for the rest of my life. I miss him. I simply do. He was a wonderful person and I miss sharing my life with him. But, more than missing him, I am filled with a deep gratitude for what was between us. Mike loved me well and he changed my life with his love. His love was strong and true and big. He was everything that I ever wanted love to be. Mike made me a Fan Girl of Love and I get to keep all this. This stuff didn’t die with him. All of this is etched into my Soul. His love is in my bones, it is imprinted on my skin. I am strong on his love.
Grief in Boxes
About a year and a half ago, my husband Nick and I (he was then my boyfriend) moved into our apartment together. One day later, covid hit, and pandemic rules went into effect, making it almost impossible to shop for or receive furniture, bed, and other things we needed for our new place. Amazon became […]
Past to the Present – A Look Back in Widowed Time
Clayton has been gone for over three years now. A lot has changed. On a day to day, I don’t realize just how far I have traveled. This week has had a lot of old memories stir but not for the worse, for the better. The week brought about events and memories that could have […]
The Pstihurism
For many, Labor Day marks the unofficial end of Summer, but here in the northern climes where I reside, this artificial demarcation is more a function of culture than weather. Despite the strong likelihood that we will enjoy at least several more weeks of hot daytime temps better suited for T-shirts and cut-offs, schoolboys in […]
Love Always Wins
The Power of Memory Do you ever wonder how certain memories come back to teach us about ourselves? The lesson for me in this week’s post is that dying is damn hard. Sometimes, in the midst of it, we don’t feel the full impact. Then your dog dies and it all comes rushing in. Death […]