My friend Al, pictured above, and I met as seniors in high school. Al was a charter member of our imaginary rock group the Frazier Thomas Band. Indeed, he was the imaginary producer of our first imaginary record album. Back in high school, my smart-ass first impression of Al had been, here is a guy who is 18 going on 80. Turns out I was not completely wrong.
Al met Lee through me, but this meeting occurred much later in life. Al was a simple man, who tended to see the world in black and white terms. Al loved Lee, whom he would refer to as “Beebs,” freely adopting one of my nicknames for her as his own. I suspect he was drawn to her because Lee was completely transparent and incapable of artifice.
And, certainly, Lee loved Al, whom she called A.P., even though Al was a bit of an odd bird. Based on Al’s lifestyle, his dress and demeanor, the fellas used to describe him as “blue collar,” and we would frequently remind him that he was our working-class hero.
Until he had to stop working for health reasons, Al worked at a medium size factory which employs about 100 people and sells rebuilt carburetors. Almost without exception, Al would be the first through the door at 5:30 in the morning. And you could set your watch to Al’s early lunches at one of his two or three go-to joints, the specific destination determined by the day of the week and the daily special. He would only go to places where he could get a senior discount, but he liked to befriend the staff, especially the waitresses and cashiers, whom he would tip extravagantly.
Oh, and did I mention that Al owned the company?
Despite being an owner, Al left work for home at 4 p.m. on the clock right alongside his employees. Back at home, he enjoyed watching spectator sports on T.V., especially baseball and horse racing. He collected all manner of sports paraphernalia, and he was quite proud of his collection of bobblehead figures. Al liked cars, was partial to American muscle cars and owned a vintage model that he kept inside a garage but seldom drove. He also enjoyed marijuana and classic rock and had very good musical ear, even though he neither sang nor played any instrument.
For some years he took excellent care of a woman with children not his, but, as far as I know, they never lived together. Once upon a time they might have been romantically involved, but those days were long gone. Most nights Al would turn in very early for bed –alone.
Al’s only marriage had been to Pat, whom he met while she was still working the counter at a restaurant. I was with him when he met her. She died young from cancer, leaving Al to raise their two young daughters.
Al’s Daughters Create a Caring Bridge Page
For many years, even as a young man, Al would complain about tightness and joint pain. He eventually started taking medication that a doctor prescribed. After Al was diagnosed with a rare form of blood cancer, he would blame it on this medication. His was informed and believed that his cancer could be cured with a splenectomy and a bone marrow transplant, followed by months spent mainly in isolation due to the heightened risk of deadly infection.
Al’s daughters kept everybody apprised of his condition through a web page operated by CaringBridge, a nonprofit organization funded by donations. CaringBridge provides a potentially useful social network for families and friends who have a loved one dealing with a health event. Earlier this week, I decided to cull my computer of “favored” websites I no longer use, need or favor, and in the process, had come across Al’s Caring Bridge site. Created by Al’s daughters in March of 2017, they used it to announce that he had had the surgery. Lee had responded, “thank you… [y]ou’ve done such an amazing thing for your Dad…. You should not shortchange yourself – these things are difficult and being a caretaker has its challenge…. [P]ace yourself. Let us know if you need anything.”
In early April one of Al’s daughters wrote encouragingly to say that she was impressed by her dad’s determination, hard effort, and improving condition, however, he was not quite ready to go home. She also disclosed she had discovered and eaten some of the blueberry banana bread that Lee made and then had smuggled into Al’s hospital room while we were paying him a visit. “Beebs” boasted to Al that she had been “a little ninja,” adding: “Well AP, you made it through the first big hurdle my friend. Now it’s healing time. Be a good patient and do your best to be nice to the nurses now !!!” Lee also promised Al there was more bread “where that came from once you get home. We think about you all the time.”
We knew Al loved Deer Tick Manor, so a different time Lee reminded him, “[y [es, AP, Deertick awaits you, my friend. We will have your room all ready for you whenever you can get away this Summer. So glad to hear you’re making progress. Keep it going. We love you.”
After nearly two months away, Al was deemed fit to return home with assistance. Lee quickly assured his daughters that “we will continue to provide whatever comforts we can for him during the coming months,” and to Al: “good thoughts your way my friend…. Hang in there and keep moving forward, always forward.”
In July 2017 one of Al’s daughters reported to us that her dad was responding well to his treatment and that there was no evidence of cancer. A biopsy in September confirmed it. Lee responded: “Well that’s about the best news I’ve gotten in a long time. It’s so encouraging to see a positive outcome and for such a sweetheart as our AP. I really couldn’t be happier about it. The worst is behind him and the future is looking oh so bright.”
However, by January 2018 one of Al’s daughters was reporting that he “hasn’t been feeling so hot the last few weeks,” and, despite normal test results, he was dehydrated, weak, and losing weight. Al was hospitalized. He was not ready to go home, yet in February, he was moved out of the hospital and into a rehabilitation facility. Lee and I went to see him there, and he looked terrible, and we reported this to Al’s girls. Soon enough, Al was back in the hospital. Thankfully, in early March one of Al’s daughters reported to everyone that his primary doctor was now, “optimistic that Dad will recover from his current condition and will be released in a week or two.” Lee immediately wrote back, “Well, that’s truly wonderful news,” and again thanked both daughters for their regular updates,noting, “[i]t’s so easy to get caught up in your own life….
Our friend A.P. died a few weeks later.
Lee’s Caring Bridge Page
On July 2, 2020, “Beebs” herself died from cancer. Only one week earlier, following an oncologist’s terminal prognosis, we had created Lee’s Caring Bridge Page. It is still on my computer as a favorite alongside Al’s page. I can see them together now. Visiting much like they used to; visits marked by hearty laughter, loving smiles, imbued with good spirit. Al and Lee. Such good and true friends.