When I was first widowed back in July of 2011, and for a long time after, lots and lots of people suggested writing as a coping tool for the grief. People said to write down all my thoughts, my emotions, all of it. Some people suggested writing letters or notes to Don himself, to continue […]
Blog
The Grief Guard
Terrible things happen to people every single day but not everyone experiences terrible things. Some get to float through life without fear, loss or a bigger view of the world. Lucky maybe? However, true gratitude often comes from true grief. There’s a mindset now that any inconvenience is a huge struggle and so many are […]
Undone.
A partially written Master’s thesis. Half-completed songs. Medication bottles with pills still inside. An unmade bed. A guitar halfway strung. Bills unpaid. A bottle of water never finished. A face of stubble never shaved. Laundry that needed washing. Tickets to concerts never to be attended. A cat that needed to be fed. Work and volunteer […]
WHO AM I?
WHO AM I NOW? In talking with an old friend yesterday—recently widowed and in that oh-so-new-place of figuring out life without them—I found myself musing about who I am at mile marker 314 days. It’s hard not to compare life “then” with life “now”. The feeling, no longer new but never normal, of something missing; […]
Sometimes…
Sometimes when I come to reflect on what to write about each week, I just know. I know – yes – THIS is the incident, the thought, the feeling, the reflection, the conversation, the insight, the piece of wisdom that LANDED in my marrow. THIS is the poem, the quote, the text. THIS is the […]
Resurfacing 2022
I originally had these thoughts in January of 2021. And, a lot has changed since this time. It is true that a lot can happen in a year’s time. If you told me how different my life would become in a year I would not have believed you. I reread this blog and I stand […]
Focus and Chaos
Before the death of Don Shepherd, my mind and brain quite easily handled multiple tasks at once. My life in NYC was frantic, chaotic, colorful, probably way too busy, and with high stress levels. It was also the life of a struggling artist. I was younger then, and I think because mostly the multiple jobs […]
Stains of the Heart
There have been moments this week where I’ve caught myself thinking more and more about the loss of my dad and Clayton. I had a friend from work pass away after being in the hospital. All I could think about was what his surviving wife was going through. Another coworker sadly lost his mother and […]
Friends
Gary is out of town this week but this blog entry is worth a re-read. Enjoy! Today’s theme concerning moving forward seems to be one that I gravitate toward with some frequency in these musings. In the next week alone I will be meeting Amy and Vik for dinner, and next week have made plans […]
In the Spring of 2020
. . . you were still here suffering with constant pain, it was love that kept you going. No one was ready to say goodbye. In the Spring of 2021 You arranged for me to receive from you a pink robe on Valentine’s Day —actually two. I can’t remember what I gave to […]
Creating the Community I Crave
Image from Soaring Spirits – Gordon, Michelle and me – Camp Widow, Toronto, November 2018 Back in the early days of widowing, as I heard the likes of Megan Devine talk about the importance of community, my reaction was something along the lines of “Hrrrmph”. I didn’t get it. I didn’t quite see how hanging […]
Who am I Revisited…
This is the first blog I ever wrote for Widow’s Voice. I wrote this on December 11, 2017. A lot of time has past since I first wrote these words but what remains true is that I am still asking questions. ~S. Life after the death of the person you love demands that you […]