So one year ago today, my husband Nick asked me to marry him. He did it at our favorite restaurant where we met in person and had our first date. He did it in the front area of the restaurant, by the Christmas tree and fireplace area, down on one knee, with one of their […]
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Sharing My Scare
I am very open about my life, my grief journey, my faults and my growth. This week I hesitated to talk about something because I was very scared. I had to go to the doctor for something I noticed a while back that had changed. I should have gone to the doctor sooner but I […]
Unavoidable Grief
I was on my way back home from visiting Bob and Linda when I got Paul’s call informing me that Steve had died. Steve is the father of Paul’s daughter-in-law, Katie. Paul reported that Steve had died just three weeks after complaining of stomach pain and getting a diagnosis of Stage 4 pancreatic cancer. I […]
Today I am thinking about us . . .
. . . and horses . . . I surprised myself the other day at how emotional I got about recalling how much horses taught me about life and living. A friend posted a lovely story about mares….how they have to protect their young and fight off any predators that seek to harm their foals. […]
Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful Widows
Images from the Soaring Spirits end of year card 2021 I got my first Christmas card two days ago. Not quite in November, but almost. It stunned me in myriad ways. Firstly, I am staggered I even receive Christmas cards anymore. I don’t send any. I used to, in the life before, but I don’t […]
Dimes and Change
Yesterday, the new man in my life was packing up our vehicles while I was tidying up and readying the house to leave. While he was outside, I went about gathering together an assortment of our things to place near the front door. As I was putting some of our belongings in the foyer I saw […]
My Forever Hero and Friend Michele
Most of you reading this probably already know that Michele Neff Hernandez, the founder and Executive Director of Soaring Spirits International, was chosen by CNN as one of the Top 10 Finalists for CNN Hero of the Year. That, in itself, is unbelievably surreal and exciting. It was VERY surreal when Anderson Cooper was on […]
Holiday Apologies – Dusting the Grief Off the Garland
An Open Letter to the Holidays… Dear Holidays, As you know, the past 4 years I’ve been trying to figure out life without Clayton. He was always here when you arrived so after he died I couldn’t handle seeing you. I knew you were coming but I couldn’t hang up decorations and I refused to […]
31.
Well, in a few days I turn 31. Last year’s birthday felt hard because I was entering a new decade that Boris will never experience. He is forever 27. Frozen in time. And now 31 feels so far from 27. Like I am a different person, entering a whole new world that is separate from […]
Then and Now
On the day after Thanksgiving Lola the pup and I travel to Deer Tick Manor to officially close the place until Spring arrives once again. Because the house is drafty and it rests on a cold slab of earth and concrete, this process requires battening down the hatches to the maximum extent possible to protect […]
One of the many places . . .
. . . he is missing It began in 2001 when Christmas tree lover, Danielle, was living in a college dorm and needed help to get a Christmas tree for her home away from home. Of course, she called her dad, and so the tradition began. The conversation about “when” would begin during Thanksgiving dinner […]
Grief of Tsunamic Proportions
Image by David Cleverley on Unsplash I don’t know how to begin this piece. I don’t know what will be in the middle. And I don’t know how it will end. In truth, I usually don’t know the middle or end of a piece before I start writing. This will horrify any good teacher of […]