Yesterday, the new man in my life was packing up our vehicles while I was tidying up and readying the house to leave. While he was outside, I went about gathering together an assortment of our things to place near the front door. As I was putting some of our belongings in the foyer I saw it. There was a dime casually placed on the entryway table.
I saw it, and I KNEW.
When he came in to get a load of things I asked him,
“Did you put a dime on the table by the door?”
He replied,
“Yes. I found it outside near the gate”.
I KNEW that Mike put the dime near my gate.
I felt it the moment I saw the dime on table.
And, before I even touched the coin, I KNEW that it would be a 2020 issued dime. I felt it.
When I held the dime in my hand and inspected it, it was exactly as I thought.
The dime is engraved with the year 2020.
2020 is the year I met the new person in my life…
We drove back to his house in our separate vehicles and I cried on the drive back. My tears were tears of gratitude. Love tears. The type of tears you wait to cry while in the depths of grief. These were good tears, but still, sometimes, I long to be like other people. The type of people who do not cry in the solitude of their vehicles.
My life after loss is good, but it is not necessarily easy. These type of events happen to me. Dimes are left and found. At times, it is a lot to process.
Aside from this dime, I have been seeing 11:11 and 1:11 for weeks now. Every time I see this number sequence I tell him to “make a wish”. I am not really sure why I say this or what he wishes. And, myself, I haven’t been wishing for anything in particular other than for “Happiness” and more of what I have been feeling lately. More Joy. More Contentment. More Peace. And a continued sense that everything will be “okay” once again. My wishes are for the type of stuff that have been absent from my life since Mike died.
Anyhow, making a wish when I see 11:11 or 1:11 is just a sort of playful thing I say aloud. But, aside from being a lighthearted sentiment I announce, since Mike died, seeing this number sequence on repeat has always signalled change in my life.
There is no denying that being inundated with this number sequence is a precursor to big change for me. I saw these numbers prior to my move and wouldn’t you know it, this number pattern is showing up again. It is telling. Change is coming…
Last night, after I had some time to sit with it, I told him about the dime. He said he knew the coin was significant when I asked him if he put in on the table. He said he could tell it meant something because of the way I asked about it. Then, he said, “maybe you were supposed to find the dime not me”. And, again, I KNEW that it wasn’t me who was supposed to find it. He was meant to bring it to me. He was the one who was supposed to pick up the dime and bring it to my attention – I told him this.
He said, “maybe Mike is sending a sign”. And, he is right. On my birthday, Mike was telling me, in the only way he can, that he knows. Mike knows that I am in good hands. He knows that my new person is stepping in where he left off and Mike is giving us his blessing. This is why I cried. As Mike’s Girl, I understood the significance of this dime.
Someone New’s Girl,
~Staci
