For years, I asked a lot of the moon. Every.single.night I stood outside and searched the night sky for traces of him. I stood and waited to feel him. I searched the night for him because I thought my heart would shatter from his absence. For the first years, many nights, I’d drop to my […]
Blog
Some Words about my friend, Tim O’Brien
I met Tim O-Brien because my husband Don died, and his wife Keri died. We met at a wonderfully weird place called Camp Widow. We became friends quite fast, and also over the years, because we would spend little nuggets of time together at various Camp Widow events. Those of us who have been to […]
Grief in the Gravy
Part of moving forward is reflecting. This past Thursday was the 4th Thanksgiving without Clayton. I feel very different versus 2 years ago and I think that is important to share as I continue to grow. This has been an amazing year full of growth, self awareness, cultivating my character from grief’s strangely fertile grounds […]
Thanksgiving Remembrance (Revisited)
[This article first appeared last year about this same time, hence, it’s being “revisited.”] Going back to the start of 2021, I have been volunteering my time on Thursdays at a local food pantry that serves our community. I am off today, however, because we are closed on Thanksgiving, which seems more than a bit […]
GRATEFUL
A PHOTO JOURNAL OF GRATITUDE On the day before a long past Thanksgiving, after a days-long vigil, my dearest Auntie Martha passed away in a hospital bed set up in her room with her best friend of sixty-plus years and her niece by her side. “I think she’s gone,” Diane said, reaching over to close […]
You’re Allowed Fifteen Minutes
image by Avesun on iStock About six weeks ago, on a Monday morning, I woke up crying and sobbing. I was having a beautiful and stunningly hard dream. It happens. Quite a lot. Whenever I dream of Julia. I dream of Julia much more often than I dream of Mike. Always have done. I don’t […]
Better
It is now officially five years and seven days since Mike died. Huh. Wow. This seems like a long time, and it is. I have lived a lot of life since the day he died. Sometimes I don’t know how I got to where I am, but I did it; and you can too. We […]
Shepherds Farm
Last year, Nick and I were living in our rented apartment together, and we hosted our first Thanksgiving there. Due to the pandemic, it was a very small gathering. It was just us, my parents, and my brother. Since my parents had survived covid and hospital stays with covid to boot, we were all extra […]
Moments Under A Mask
Headed into the 4th set of holidays without Clayton and the 5th set without my father I’m spending more time remembering my growth instead of my grief. Walking into the woods of widowhood surrounded by the first Fall after losing Clayton and I had no idea how to handle things. Here came the gatherings, the […]
Grief & Fitbit
I remember when Boris and I both got Fitbit watches. We were both so excited for this new “thing” that everyone was doing and we had fun competing with each other. We went on a trip to New York and we got like 18,000 steps one day, which was very exciting. After a year or […]
Trouble in Paradise?
I met Robyn on one of those dating sites. She was not the first woman I dated after Lee died. We hit things off instantly, though initially I would not have been able to explain to you why this was the case. The truth is, we don’t have as much in common as you […]
CAN IT BE POSSIBLE . . .
. . . THAT OUR SONG BEGINS AGAIN? Adjusting to a daily work schedule, a new work environment, and an entirely new set of applications and procedures left me distracted enough this week that I forgot what day it was. So here I am, for the first time since July, typing my blog on […]