So one year ago today, my husband Nick asked me to marry him. He did it at our favorite restaurant where we met in person and had our first date. He did it in the front area of the restaurant, by the Christmas tree and fireplace area, down on one knee, with one of their hostesses taking video of him proposing. Then we got married in a private ceremony that was livestreamed on Facebook, on New Years Eve 2020, at The Groton Inn. What a rush.
December 18th , just 6 days from today, will be my “other” proposal anniversary. You know – the dead guy. Well, he wasnt dead when he proposed, so that’s one good thing. Don proposed to me in NYC, my favorite city, underneath the Rockefeller Center christmas tree, with hundreds of witnesses watching as he got down on one knee in a 22 degree evening, and asked me to marry him.
Two beautiful, very different men. Two men who share so many similar qualities and hobbies, but who are like night and day personality-wise and temprament-wise. Both of these men love(d) me, and I love them both in ways that are often too profound and too awesome to describe. They are my soul, and my soul is different now after surviving and living with the loss of Don Shepherd. My soul is different, so the love is different. Today, and on the 18th, I want to celebrate the idea of “love grows love.” The idea that love walks in again and again, wearing different clothing and in many different forms. Being in love and being loved is so enormous and lovely of a thing – that when you have it, or have had it, you want more of it. Each love is unique, each story is unique, but love lives on in so many forms and ways, and in so many people.
The fact that two men have proposed to me in my life , and that I said yes both times – it is strange and weird and bittersweet and fueled by death.
But its also fueled by love, and by the idea that because I loved one beautiful man who died, and because our love was so real and positive and bright, I am now able to love another beautiful man and create a life together. That life is built on the foundation of the idea that real love never truly dies, and THAT is a magnificent thing. Love grows love.
