…. to be jolly. Ho, ho ….. oh whatever. I mostly loathe this Season. I really do. And that ticks me off. Because I didn’t “before”. I loved Christmas and everything it entails. It was a wonderful time of the year for me spiritually, emotionally …. the older kids came home from college for several weeks, and physically …. loved the parties,…
widowhood and traditions
Bittersweet Christmas
I got up this morning with one important task to accomplish, decorate the front of the house with holiday lights. I’ve notice the number of houses in the neighborhood slowly being lit up with beautiful lights of every color. My daughter has been asking when we would show our holiday spirit by lighting up our house as well.As I don’t do anything…
Today
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. -Lao Tzu It’s Veteran’s Day, and it comes every year with many people asking what I’ll be doing. How I’ll be honoring a day that my husband fought and died to be recognized as a part of.I guess in a way these days (Veteran’s and Memorial Day) are not so…
Potter
One of the things I started after Michael died was our “Date Nights”. It usually consists of a movie and a five course dinner with wine pairings throughout it. It’s amazing. From “Birds” to all three “Lord of the Ring” to “Chocolat” I sit there with an empty set next to me and savor every moment.But, as I’ve embraced life once more, I’ve found time…
11 years ago today….
Last night I tucked in G for a second time. He was struggling to sleep after a large plate of this yummy cake. I lay down next to him on the air mattress which has been his bed for the past few nights (we’re in the UK on vacation and staying with friends for the weekend). I pushed his hair back from his forehead and whispered to him the story of…
I Have The Ring
I have The Ring. The one that binds all rings together. I’ve been looking at it lately Playing with it. Putting it on my left hand, where there has been no ring for over a year And it feels…not right anymore. It feels wrong on my left finger because it doesn’t feel like… me.The Ring. The one that binds all rings together. I had Art’s…
It Holds On
I’ve been getting everything ready for our upcoming AWP event these past two weeks. One of the neatest components to the time is the golf tournament. I know…golf….not synonymous with anything too exciting, but at each hole is a sign. A sign that bears words from a fallen hero’s wife. Words on his life, his character, his soul….even his…
for madeline.
on saturday some of the most important people in our lives will be with us as we celebrate maddy’s third birthday. again. (yeah, maddy’s birthday sort of runs from her actual birthdate of march 24th to her estimated due date of mid may). she and her friends will be beating a piñata, eating cupcakes, and throwing things around our backyard…
Yellow Roses
The day this posts, April 11th, is my daughter’s 20th birthday. No longer a teenager. Maybe not quite a full adult, but a day to let her know how much I love her, and how I wish for only good things in her future. Rather than buy her some new gadget, I decided to spend a little extra, and let her know what I truly thought of her. She is my diamond.
march 24th.
i made the decisionto carry on atradition that i startedin 2009…to take mymaddy on a tripfar away from everything, to ensure thatthe focus be onher and herbirthday, rather than the day that follows. i’m happy to say, i succeeded. (i’m one lucky dad).
3 years
This morning will mark three years since I’ve held your warm hand. Heard your snores. Felt safe knowing I was yours. My life doesn’t stop today as it did three years ago….although I partially wish it would. There are appointments to be attended, childcare to sort out and errands to run.I’d like to lay in my bed and think of only you. To keen…
The Positive Side of Awful
I hate that I have learned so much, and have become a better person, because of Lisa’s death. And I am not patting myself on the back, I truly hate that I am better and have learned so much because of her death. I want her back more than ever so I can show her how much better I am. We would have a better marriage, because I now understand the…