Widow's Voice

Widowed Emotions

Resilience Part 1 (How to Strengthen Yours)

| Posted by:

I have been doing a lot of work on resilience lately. We have all been told that the concept of resilience refers to one’s ability to “bounce back” from adversity. Being resilient helps us to recover from setbacks relatively comfortably. It also allows us the grace to move forward through difficult situations in life.

While resilience comes naturally to some, anybody can train himself to become more resilient. Like any skill, resilience can be built with time and practice so that you can feel confident in your ability to face adversity and come through it.

Present (The update 2020)

| Posted by:

I feel his absence in my psyche. Mike was my person and now I wander through life while part of my Soul is elsewhere. My goal is to become more present in my life. I want to hold steady here in the world where I physically exist. I need to engage in my life more fully. I deserve to live a good life; and, my boys deserve their Mother back. The gift of presence is the present I wish to give my boys this Christmas.

The Woven Widowed “What” in the Fabric of Life

| Posted by:

“What was I just doing? What was I about to say? What is that person’s name? I’ve known them for years. Damn it Bryan! What is wrong with you?” For a while, I thought that maybe I was a little crazy. I was struggling to understand why my thoughts were so scattered and why I […]

Banana Bread

| Posted by:

Cooking was something I was always interested in doing. The first meal I ever cooked was a southern fried chicken dinner when I was around 11-years old. After that, I simply enjoyed cooking whenever the mood struck. I cooked regularly as a teen, then into my adulthood, I carried on.

Suzanne was an amazing cook—she was a true “foodie”. She loved to go to a restaurant and try something new. Then, as soon as the time was right, she would recreate the same meal at home. Her knack was getting the flavors almost identical to whatever we had eaten at the restaurant. It was a natural ability of hers that never ceased to amaze.

This Particular and Peculiar Sense of Non-being (Reboot)

| Posted by:

Alison is on the road this week and won’t have access to internet so we’ve chosen this post from 2017 to share with you until she returns next week.  Enjoy! There is a particular and peculiar loneliness of the sort that cannot be imagined for its’ overwhelming and enveloping totality, that strikes me when I […]

Season of Hope…

| Posted by:

As my grief continues to evolve, I carefully consider who I am today.  And, I recognize and accept that both potential and lost possibilities coexist in me.  This duality is one of the hallmarks of widowhood.  I am at once full of potential; and, concurrently, I have lost my ability to fulfill some of my previous desires.  This is just plain lousy.  I won’t pretend it isn’t.

Table for One? No Thanks. I’ll Just Wait At The Bar.

| Posted by:

Some may love going out to eat alone but for me it is emotional. Even waiting for takeout can be tough. Grabbing dinner this week, I sat at the bar and got an awkward look from one group. I’m sure it was nothing but that doesn’t mean my feelings weren’t valid. Whatever it was that […]

Make a Wish

| Posted by:

I have learned that grief evolves.  It changes with time and hard work.  The changes are not always linear, but they do occur.  Grief is not everlasting, if you don’t want it to be.  There is a new life to be found, if you look for it.  There is opportunities to find small moments of joy if you are open to it.  If you aren’t, then that is a choice too.  But, that choice is wrongminded for me.  I have life.  I didn’t die.  So, to honor Mike, I will continue to try to live the best life I can.  Life has been denied to him, but it is still available to me – my birthday reminds me of this.