Widow's Voice

Widowed Emotions

Your Touch (edited 2021)

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Touch has helped bring me further present.  It has helped reawaken me to the moment I am living in.  Touch has resuscitated me in ways that nothing else can.  Touch has given me the air I need when I was struggling to breath life back into myself.  For me, touch has been healing in a new a different ways.

Touch has brought me back in touch with my humanness.  I have allowed myself to acknowledged that I am still alive.  And, because I draw breathe, my skin still hungers for the touch of another human being.  Touch in and of itself is just that.  It is not love, but it is something.  And, sometimes a nebulous thing is really a big deal.

The Care Griever

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Summer has hit on the beautiful stretch of Florida beach I call home. The area is buzzing with tourists and that means I’m hanging close to home for the busy season at work. My career is animal care. This week I had friends staying just a bit to the east of me about an hour […]

Satisfied?

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You know how on surveys or mental health screenings sometimes they’ll ask something like, “how satisfied are you with your life?” and they will let you pick on a scale of 1 to 5? I decided I really don’t like that question. But, maybe I don’t like it because I don’t know the answer. I […]

FIRST STEPS

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Author’s Note: Thank you, Alison, for your warm welcome last week. You will be greatly missed here and I will join others in following you at  http://anodysseyoflove.com/ to keep up with your adventures and new endeavors. Hope we meet up somewhere in the future. Thank you for sharing your love for Chuck so beautifully. xo~Kathie […]

My Road to Return

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I have been having a near death experience. You know, where your life flashes in front of you, all the memories, sights, sounds and smells. That rewind reminder, which puts your whole past into a present perspective. No, there wasn’t an accident or anything sudden, my near death experience has been almost undetectable. How so? […]

Finding Change

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I’ve written about finding coins before and there was a long time I didn’t find any. This week it seemed everywhere I turned there was a penny. I think I found 8 total and 3 in just one day. They go in my pocket, I forget until later and it’s like I’ve found them all […]

Navigating New Terrain

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Photos my own I just re-read last week’s post to see if I had mentioned “Orienteering” and saw that – oddly – I hadn’t. However it was a feature underlying that piece of writing. Orienteering is where I had been with my parents, in Leucate, when I came across “Ed’s Feather” on 22nd May. Orienteering […]

Strongish (again)

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As the days rolled into weeks, and then became months,  strong continued to mean different things.  Things that I never previously associated with being strong.  

I learned that strong means laying on the cold, hard kitchen floor crying for three months straight. 

I discovered that strong means sobbing silently while I cook my sons dinner every night for a year.

 

Strong is a lot of things.

Strong is learning to hide my tears behind sunglasses at the grocery store.

Strong is getting up everyday to repeat a life that is nothing like the one I imagined.

Strong is making homespun, amateur attempts at creating a new life, when all I want is my old life back.

 

Toxic Perception

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Bryan, what does growing through grief look like for you? I appreciate this question because it gives me an opportunity to share that my life looks very different each day. Overtime, my weeks and months have expanded in many directions. I posted on social media earlier this week holding a flower and sharing that I […]