And just like that, we say goodbye to June and hello to July. What a whirlwind of a month June was. I felt like I was holding on to the bumper of a car moving at 100 miles per hour. It was a month full of milestones, memories, and so so many emotions. Looking back […]
Widowed Effect on Family/Friends
Enduring Silence
I lost a friendship I once valued, Who knows where the drift began. But you can’t make amends with silence, Although it’s not quiet like the dead. This silence breeds indifference, I refuse to accept the shrinking effects. I’ve already survived his death, This too, I will endure. I imagine they are hurting too, Missing […]
Party Hostess
Tony and I always loved opening our home and hosting friends. We hosted both large and small gatherings, finding joy in both kinds of camaraderie. Since his passing, I haven’t hosted as much as we used to. It’s hard to be a solo parent, juggling all that comes with that, and finding the time to […]
Friendship is an Honor
Saturday, I had the pleasure of catching up with two of my friends from college. One friend lives locally but we don’t see each other nearly often as we should. My other friend lives in a coastal city out east. I hadn’t seen her in 3 years, but they hadn’t seen each other in 10 […]
The Living Bucketlist
What a world. The twins and I have been on back-to-back trips for the last few months. We recently just got back this past Saturday from a trip to Japan and South Korea and wow, what a trip it was. It was another bucketlist item that Erik and I had. As I continue to travel […]
Wearing Green Again
Last Monday, should have been my 18th wedding anniversary. I had almost lost sight of its impending arrival. His death anniversary falls on Easter this year. Preparing for that had been taking up my extra grief mental load. In fact, when a friend texted me a few days before my anniversary to check in on […]
More Than Wishful Thinking
Lola the pup has a trick. In the morning when she is ready to eat, she picks up her travel food bowl and parades with it, making sure that anybody up and about knows she wants to be fed. I get Lola’s message, naturally, but there is a time threshold I will hold her to […]
Riding Off into the Sunset
I’m typically highly-sensitive to dates of significance pertaining to family members. I’d always served as the reminder-of-dates, a birthdate savant, advising everyone of someone’s upcoming Big Day. These days, however, I realize that it isn’t birthdates that I’m now good at recalling, but the dates-of-loss. I didn’t realize until this past week that although six […]
Lunar New Year Eve Reflections
As I sit here finishing my preparations for the Lunar New Year tomorrow I can’t help but look back on this past year. Lunar New Year has always been one of the most important holidays to our family next to Christmas and 4th of July. It was one that I welcomed Erik to be a […]
Soup and Sandwich
I met Paul and Joann for a “holiday” luncheon. Paul is Lee’s brother; Joanne is his wife. I hadn’t seen Paul for several months, and it is more than one year since I last saw Joanne. I had just finished parking my car and was about to feed a meter when I saw them exit […]
Friendship and Grief
Over the last week, I’ve been reflecting on friendship. When you lose your partner, often you also lose your best friend. Losing your best friend changes the dynamics of how you share information. There is no longer one person to call for everything. Throw in widow brain and you won’t even remember who you’ve told […]
The Art of Thanksgrieving
How did everyone do with the Thanksgiving Holiday? I know Soaring Spirits is an organization with an international membership, so for some of you, it really was just “another day”. For many in the US, however, Thanksgiving is a day filled with the expectation of being surrounded by family, food and friends. I have had […]