This week I am in it. 😔 In a funk. The kind you can’t pinpoint to one single thing, just a mix of little and big things that make life feel so heavy and unfair all over again. It feels like a grief hangover. The kind that wants to keep you in bed for days […]
Widowed Effect on Family/Friends
Embracing My Inner Outlier
Tomorrow begins the first day of the month that contains the first day of spring. For those in the Northeast and elsewhere, spring can’t come too soon. Even here, in Northeast Florida, we’ve endured extreme cold for this region killing off plants and trees that usually withstand milder winter temps. As I thaw, I’m also […]
A Visit With Two Old Friends
On Sunday, I drove Robyn to the airport, then immediately went home to clean the place in anticipation of Craig and Donna’s expected arrival the following day. No rest for the wicked! Craig and Donna are two of my closest friends. I first met them as a young lawyer shortly after I had accepted a […]
Friendship and Grief
Emily is out of town this week. This repost on friendship and grief is worth another read form her 2024 blog post! __________________ Over the last week, I’ve been reflecting on friendship. When you lose your partner, often you also lose your best friend. Losing your best friend changes the dynamics of how you share […]
New Year. New Widow
My team at work kicks off the week with a quick meeting almost every Monday morning. It’s a quick 15-minute call where we cover the highlights of the upcoming week and who has a birthday or anniversary. Last week was our first one of the new year, and we all expected welcome back pleasantries. Instead, […]
Pages of Grief
Last night I finished the book Maame by Jessica George. (Warning: Spoilers ahead if it’s on your To Be Read list.) The book follows Maddie, who is trying to find herself at 25 when her father dies from complications related to Parkinsons. She is at an age where she is working through finding a career […]
Funeral Attendance
Today I went to a funeral for friend whose mom passed away. I have known this friend since high school, and I think I even crashed on the couch in their basement once. I know some people avoid almost all future funerals after losing their partner. Admittedly, some of them are easier to sit through […]
Passing Holiday Milestones to Better Days Ahead
Just a few days ago, an archived Facebook photo from 2021 that I’d posted the Thanksgiving weekend four weeks after Rich’s passing, appeared in my Feed. At that time, my elderly mother had come to stay with me and although I truly wasn’t into holiday decorating, for her sake, I did. That memory made […]
Northern Climbs
Last weekend I had an inspirational visit to New England, the origin of my late father’s family, of French Canadian descent. As a kid, most holidays found my family loading up the car for another trek from New Jersey to Massachusettes where my siblings and I made fun of the accents of 42 our first […]
Another Bloody Birthday
Yesterday was Tony’s birthday. He should have been turning 48, but he is forever 43. I actually double checked myself because 48 didn’t sound right. He was born two years before me so keeping track of his age is easy. Yet still I questioned if that number was right. Five birthdays we’ve missed his presence […]
When Longtime Traditions Change
Yesterday, I facilitated a parol making workshop for a large group of Filipinos, some I have known since I was a child. Parols are a traditional, Philippine lantern displayed during the holiday season, and made of capiz shells. OUR homemade carols, however, are made of bamboo sticks and cellophane paper. Years ago, I would bring […]
Pondering Hope
Then and Now In the early days of losing my husband of 52 years, I was in shock. A fog. It lasted a full year and as time moved on, I saw myself clinging to optimism. I’m a hopeless optimist and the problem in that is that sometimes I avoid feeling my feelings in the […]